The mindset of an Ex-Royal Marine, Imposter Syndrome & Ego #106
“Ambitions the Pros & Cons” – Howard Green
An intriguing conversation with an ex royal marine commando, who is about as ambitious as you can get. From suffering with PTSD, BiPolar and burn out, Howard Green is now thriving and loving his life as a father, husband and tennis coach. But he has battled with finding himself, overcoming his own imposter syndrome and ego.
Common topics that we often fail to discuss so openly, Howard openly gives tips and tricks that articulate a better process and way of getting through these barriers we are all experiencing right now, or may have experienced.
Key time stamps:
04:00 Joining the marines & 9/11
10:15 Leadership traits & qualities Howard believes in
17:25 Flexibility in routines is a must
22:40 Imposter Syndrome working with a top 10 tennis player
31:40 Imposter Syndrome tips and tricks
37:50 Help others rather than try to be better than others
40:45 Become insightful
I urge you all to follow his journey below:
Episode on forgiveness:
Episode on forgiveness:
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Please reach out to Howard Green
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elitism you are literally told from day one that you are passive and civilians on your backs than any other on full season in eight months of being told by every day you truly believe it so from that moment onwards welcome to an episode of find your voice a movement led by yours truly Aren Deu a guy who was overcome crippling anxiety adversity and difficulty like so many of you in life whose main goal now is to help you combat your excuses take control of your life write your own story and most importantly find your voice so now without further ado I welcome the host of the show himself Mr Aren Deu I am delighted to welcome Howard green on today’s episode of find your voice how would how would you today my friend yeah very good thank you good stuff glad to hear it so I’m excited for this on because just you know if you remember from episode four had an incredible story maybe one that’s actually been forgotten so much really looking to bring him on but he put me in touch with high with any kind of advocate a lot for you how it’s a no pressure for your story today because you said you’re gonna be absolutely fantastic and you gonna blow the list this away and I’m sure you will be made because just having a very brief conversation with yourself and knowing what you’ve got in your CV it’s it’s exciting and it’s it’s a lot there is a lot of stuff that does definitely stories to be told that and I always say everyone has a story but it seems that you have almost books of chapters which I’m really interested in jumping into so when I was at this point is trying to understand why people do what they do so if you could maybe tell us what you do but then a little bit about yourself and what kind of brings you to where you are today please that’s okay (imposter syndrome, ego, mindset with Howard Green & Aren Deu) enrollees had inside and sports science a youth tennis academy (imposter syndrome, ego, mindset with Howard Green & Aren Deu) we’re part of the national framework and I also have like a business will work in the younger athletes and give a platform to lines and online trading and it’s quite very easy (imposter syndrome, ego, mindset with Howard Green & Aren Deu) and then released as there is a structure conditioning coach (imposter syndrome, ego, mindset with Howard Green & Aren Deu) but in terms of additional rolled about leadership in terms of the team that I work with I would be what to do with parents education coaches education higher education away from just making an Austin strong so is it is quite a big role in the rolled past ten years hi it’s about (imposter syndrome, ego, mindset with Howard Green & Aren Deu) short break and spend some time in Spain (imposter syndrome, ego, mindset with Howard Green & Aren Deu) just working on five thousand role Marie still kind of my my journey into high performance based on public when I when I joined the marines back in two thousand one M. as well as the what would be your top plate I’ve been lucky enough to work on the professional level one was well in the year nineteen I exploring it I am yeah train bus these life so I’ve got to go to bust these wedding so yeah German back I was direct service project I lucky my lucky man I’m I’m envious of you already made so I just wanna touch on one thing and this is just for a a personal thing and obviously to educate people listening you’re in the Royal Marines and you’re a commando I believe could you just elaborate ever so slightly on that yes all chaotic but like so at that school and I think the public if there is a terminology delight in their achievements over cima at school Bettendorf even very much a let majora so it was a very very last and the deer away in Australia New Zealand and visiting family when I was sixteen can box I was in so many what really halt and a lot of money left to spend the money and I had a day off work to get my GCSE results so I can buy when its construction I was gonna fall about possum friends of mine one of just being in recruit training command for a price still friends on a couple of minutes to go in and so it’s kind of a bit of a shock I didn’t build on a college coach today with computers which I don’t know why I’m just as they start to think about it thanks for joining the forces and I said to those guys okay I’ll join the marines and the navy mock my local so that later as it must’ve been although in the marines and the parents and was very much like joining them will not speak here so I kind of just went with the flow it’s never been a desire at any point in my life join the rains (imposter syndrome, ego, mindset with Howard Green & Aren Deu) at the full sees all the marines that kind of scene is between none of the powers the talk to it for special forces and then that’s when a lot of people were settled why why when the marines are always frustrated when I was at the time that the stump shocked and it’s just not an island and while so I was in training back on the trade in nine eleven happened so yes things run so quite quickly and yeah it was just kind of so in the past and I was involved in the invasion of Iraq I would like to write your roster and then also that is six months old eighty Afghan and broken still quite quite heavy six years yeah absolutely and definitely is about five especially that you would just kind of going along with the flow in the north of a sudden you light right okay I’m not going to be deployed out there and I just wanna ask in that moment then when you when you’re being asked to go out there and you know you’re going to effectively ward how is you feeling how is how is your mind said that when she was you afraid the ads gonna be elements of the interests and all and yeah it’s just a strange on the situation like when John recruit training in all very much on the mind self on the rubber Ducky will Britney I’m just a small an eagle saying nothing to feel and I never want to come back being known as a failure and because everybody knows you’ve gone you know from your local time and only friends they know you’ve got to do this and you popped up or not and then when you’re on leave well you know it’s always about how you get in on the side it was never I would never die we in my mind I wouldn’t completes it well I would it would have to be kind of forced upon me as an injury a lot of what I was going to quit and so you’ve got sometimes well I’ve put myself in this position this is why I signed up for and and and yeah I’m not understand definitely I’ll be really honest our Afghan because I knew I was not was gonna date I didn’t want to go I did not want to go but the soul of somebody going to my place and get that all works I guess I’m not gonna let that happen so yeah he definitely fearful and because you know you know exactly what’s gonna happen when your doctor I appreciate your honesty there and especially given that you said yourself it’s a very bravado type thing to say I’m a part of this love you go there’s a lot of testosterone being flown around especially in in the mail sent from it so just to acknowledge that you still have the same emotions because marines and special forces stuff for myself personally have become more famous when we see the David Coggins on the road he’s not become a bit of an inference that we look at this guy he’s almost sadistic and some of the stuff that he does well we don’t recognize that underneath for that training in those years of enjoying painting going through the process you still human being who still has the same emotions I’m the same feelings although he may be able to manage a mess so just hearing that from yourself it’s very easy for somebody listening to maybe say well it’s not for him you know he was in the marines but that’s why I want to kind of just bring that out and just say look he still has the same phase and then it’s about time we train ourselves with it through our daily habits whether it’s through our mind set into the overcome enough is because what you did there might you know how soft he thought something that even thinking about it frightens me Hough to death but sometimes for people listening I’m just saying for the for the lessons perspective sometimes cannot betting going on into and that with me with this ten fifteen people could be just as frightening although on different levels of the spectrum if that makes any sense well designed in a night match and I struggled with anxiety on the late depression you worried about something that has happened and I’m tied to something that you’re gonna is gonna happen is not happens and it may not happen so it’s kind of definitely definitely something you’ve got to think about and not pastor bites and that’s a big one really yeah I mean I guess the the additional fare B. Akan role was also now is going to be in a little bit more of a leadership role as well so it wasn’t journalist miles on the line I was gonna have no allowance alongside me in the navy so now there’s like an added pressure which you can might relate to you know any workplace that you know if you just if you’re part of the team it’s a totally different stresses and if you’re leading the team and I’m not some of the discussions we’ve had recently (imposter syndrome, ego, mindset with Howard Green & Aren Deu) in the tennis world with the national governing body by now how would the currently just on in the situation is under different politicians and also a leader would we like to be eccentric sector so it’s kind of like you know you want to lead from the front and say it but also I think it’s kind of pulling some values of their culture what you’re involved in so I can bring this core values and core beliefs that we automobiles cheerfulness in the face of adversity so we’re gonna see Priyanka it’s going to be number situations and I’m really kind of brutal horrific things seen below the way you galvanized through black humor or whatever it might be an all day I’ll talk you may use these apps the way you can get through it the only way you get through it you gotta come up Calonne overwhelming especially because of the I mean to continue to operate you know what’s happened the afternoon you’ve still got to crack on and do you patrol last night so the next day so it’s kind of but someone the time organized as well not usually kind of killed by a few drinks well you know it it it does need to be told yes absolutely and you mentioned leadership there quite a bit and one of the things that you said it was quite interested in that when I see the first question was the fact that you didn’t want to go out one stage but the fare of somebody else coming in your space and then potentially getting head I just wanna knowledge for that because I think that is a nice I see a different type of mindset where you have empathy for somebody else and you’ll instantly thinking of someone would stand kind of brings me back to why you do what you do and you’re not in a leadership role and we’ve mentioned the word leadership a lot now and you almost seem to be somebody who’s leading from the front with example and with values and stuff so I knew a particular right now how do you see yourself as a leader and what kind of things would you would you encourage somebody maybe who wants to step into the leadership space because I believe at some stage whether you are a parent over the or your boss somebody you got lots of employees we’re needing something we aren’t affected Lee being looked at by somebody else the Senate and I just said that kind of leading from the front Sony is quite important and if you can house expecting high standards of others you’ve got to you’ve got to live in green dot by being on time being prepared in organized we did like and nothing but it was easy just like in the Greenwood on the number of calls in the descriptions of the type of people and you would assign this call to the next person that profiling not psychological so most of mind like basically an organized all they saw stuff and I’m you know it’s hard to tell and to kind of plan to jail like you know that kind of element also being prepared as best as possible understanding that no clown survives first contact is is a military site invite you complained to the monarchs and then within ten minutes it’s call soon thank all of the of the element of been able to improvise adapt and overcome and based on the situation in really big for that and I feel like in terms of the the the ones one players I work with Austin was my biggest fear really was no object in becoming on sale we was more the mental aspect and so you know one major next task in on goal was to keep them active mentally as possible fire okay these are the programs I want you to sat but he is an exercise if you feel good I mean you got an extra bonus points okay one of the leaderboards every time you make a bad you put your washing in the basket and you also way and do one more thing for your parents you got another bonus point I need you to fill in this status you got bonus points so then it’s about the kind of establishing positive habits which is is a real big one in the book and tell me how that’s why getting cleared in the real big impact on me on that one and see after the first month the old bonus points for these little things like help around the house I will need to do and then I thought about going away because we’ve been out long enough now you shopping transit motivation to continue to do it on their own status I think it’ll lead us public the way I would go back to a surplus this is the standards look I lived in brave and I’ll help you along the way but we’ll get to a point that number you must still file on borders on the make of your everyday life I love that I love that and as you say about so I’m always fascinated by nothing more so for the mental aspect rather than the physical and as you were saying that I was thinking of the M. J. documentary that was seen and what Michael Jordan I absolutely love that and I don’t give any spoilers away but there’s a point where he’s almost proceed from the outside and even with his teammates at one point not he’s not a nice character well when they turned it back on him and he said you said something he reminded me of what you would just expanding that is you would never make somebody do something that he was willing to do himself and I absolutely love died that’s kind of your philosophy in terms of you will lead from the front and you will set and reinforce these positive habits in demonstrating the look what I’m making you do I also do myself and I think that is a fantastic leadership trait that anyone can do so using the as as a segue for my next question I want to look at your hobbies as a high performing not just from your background in in the military but also for not working with people so you’re not only going to inspire and lift other people by lifting them a public changing your habits as well what about yourself as a person as well what kind things are non negotiable is in your day okay so the first thing will be to like be kind to yourself that you’re not gonna you know nobody’s contact us and I’m gonna say things that you should do what do I do every day but like being sad no I do I strive to do these things yes and in terms of like the street straight routines is up I do the opposite so everybody says Michael Strahan muffled yeah I think I’ll go back through all the time on the dopamine system are also like will I was not not post before and I’m doing a lot more now in terms of all that my new business about serving tennis coach in providing coach education stands a little closer questions in different Facebook groups a lot kind of stop and I often about young adults issued nearly two so then we go downstairs it’s breakfast time and so it’s been very kind of I want to give older when I thought of the oldest times Graham believable habits for myself well you know it is a small sensor on models just so you know it’s a it’s I do use like The Hobbit trucker that’s trying to keep me on track concerns will need to achieve (imposter syndrome, ego, mindset with Howard Green & Aren Deu) do I do all the time no dole but if you write down every day three three things minimum five things maximum that you gonna doing much more likely to achieve goals and be much more consistent I would my my only sickness and there’s been days and weeks in this situation is not being correct and what’s happening anytime I have free time I’m working on full full full time Daddy day care (imposter syndrome, ego, mindset with Howard Green & Aren Deu) so yeah exercise would specially focus for your mental health is not safe massive and in this current situation if you’re fairly healthy you might not get this disease as well as possible so it’s gonna come round again so why not why not play cell so yeah I think it’s it’s it’s I was always against their guys consistency over intends to is trying to take off one or two things but trying to do them all the time and Robert Morgan all maturities all right I’m gonna do some form of physical training six days a week and then you end up doing one because you’ve been (imposter syndrome, ego, mindset with Howard Green & Aren Deu) process for any some trouble with the music even when I was a kid up tidy up Michael but not get denied Mungall and then I just got a little bit phased by it walk away leave it come back in the night look at it and just get better and I can order it so it’s kind of myself my biggest thing is is trying to maintain consistency will accomplish a few things this is one of them I think that’s really really important in your mandalas off this (imposter syndrome, ego, mindset with Howard Green & Aren Deu) and site is something not I didn’t know what it was and I’ve experienced it for about twenty thirty years of my life it was only when I was labeling it I was able to kind of dive into understanding it now one of the things that went for me really well is having a structure that structure is in the morning and possible (imposter syndrome, ego, mindset with Howard Green & Aren Deu) I think of three things I’m grateful for they are going to run or or all right exercise and what I did is I I was among the person development Jenny is a lot I like The Hobbit raw here your hobby and then I hit somebody and start to close the Monday we just consistently like loads of different routines and habits and then what happens is there’s a fine line between a structure day and over while we just literally over one yourself because come the end of the day or the second that you haven’t ticked everything off and then as an anxious person I’m kicking myself because I haven’t done well I said to myself I was going to do I’m one of the one of the things I hold myself as a value is being a man of his word and not increase for myself is also I think what you said that is really important sometimes it’s good just have two or three things I think you chose the most important things being kind to yourself and then your daughter that is being flexible as well the daily routine might look very different on the moon and then it does to change dates or Wednesday to Friday so (imposter syndrome, ego, mindset with Howard Green & Aren Deu) you know yesterday on the base image she’s there now I’ve got in there dole day so we call upon the drawback to stifle and you know no work is on my mind what so ever since yesterday I did a bit of rights in in the afternoon although not nothing but it’s not not one call nothing and it was such a good feeling to give her (imposter syndrome, ego, mindset with Howard Green & Aren Deu) dots and chin because on some of the other days okay I’m not supposed to do at least can lead to frustration and that she’s getting I’m good I’m not given that it long struggled stirs and gonna destroy my wife when she she’s working nothing yet it it’s having not flexibility within the week on week to week and that keeps on track so it’s not every day might look the same but when I rolled it rolls and system that are reflecting the weight okay it’s been consistent enough yeah yeah I think that’s great advice is off because the key to this in my opinion this voice to teach as a personal trainer was sustainability I think sustainability so overlooked I’m people always trying to find quick fixes and stuff and I’m thinking that’s not gonna keep you going like I’d rather you just implemented one hobby and not is just being called yourself a rescue line and you probably have much better results so absolutely love dot so we’re going to look backwards I wanna go more into your life in terms of investing so when we spoke prior to coming into the show that I want people to hear your story and somewhere in your store you see an element of hope or something that they could maybe draw upon and think I’m going through some shit right now but if I can just take that lesson without nugget of wisdom and use it in my own life maybe I could come out of this or at least know that there is a way out and there is a lot the end of the tunnel so if you have a story that maybe you can think of where you’ve been through adversity but then you come out the other side if you wouldn’t mind sharing that with us please make this three areas really in terms of what could relate to the space talk talk I’m been diagnosed PTSD I’ve been diagnosed bipolar and I’m definitely I’m kind of professional but I guess like they’re all intertwined in terms of what leads to weight so in terms of what the what the positives and negatives that came out of the marines in terms of elitism you are literally told from day one that you opted in civilians on your backs than any other on full season in eight months of being told by every day you truly believe it so from that moment onwards anything I’ve ever done after all unless I can talk I’m not just talking by a bit like I have to smash it on he said like it as hard as possible and be everybody like I was never happy never happy and one of my mentors would always say look I love the fact that you you’re just a knowledge and your desire to improve but you’re not president you’re always looking to the horizon for the next thing for the next thing the next thing so I joined you know when I went into this profession and I went back to university twenty six something that stimulating ten years the most common forces so that was taken consideration that the green schools coaching wasn’t going to be in the and according to tennis tennis and and it’s always been the sense like when I was in the marine jobs at all eighteen to be considered for a promotion so you have to put your hand up in the look I want to be seen if somebody wants to call it and so I did that pretty much in the first week that will hold it for you if you start to others in terms of there’s always this kind of an old sweater routine you could you could do a few years for us and then you look promotional lot not on the on the it’s a co op and so yeah like I can search cash and when it’s tennis on the multi was it as light while I’m talking to go in this job hello the highest would be to be what can a player be a grandson conference and the camera goes to the box you’ll sign it’s not worth it and it would be in the box dot is Paul I want to do and that’s what drove me spending all my money on education (imposter syndrome, ego, mindset with Howard Green & Aren Deu) extra cool see started my degree that I did my personal training goals and it can occur in these times this thing called I think I’m quite big a label site you know I wouldn’t call myself instrument condition because like all that kind of tension but it’s always like next colts next coach Mexico’s next what’s next book next conference next workshop and nothing like I was in the book the secret and I don’t believe he said (imposter syndrome, ego, mindset with Howard Green & Aren Deu) home in your chair and keep saying that you’re going to drop a portrait in a drop of course for edi say I would like to other people what your big goal is there’s more chance of it happening so when Basti ends United’s H. Agen Aston I ate we got a trainer okay there’s a guy from Boston there’s just been presented let’s ring ring came off the last rob it was the new coach used to work in the letter Alaskan he should you recommend I would okay how would then is in the mix it goes in this three or four people that sit down interview head coach he’s so much just by to join some of hers so my military connection got me in the and and then I will do the practical interview to agreeable and I got the gig and it was in the past is wiped it was former grand slam winner on world number one and I’m gonna like a notebook somewhere and it says it says B. I. T. D. B. in the box and not just gonna brainstorm of all these ways I might my build up the chance to get that in the future not only this in the first probably thank you six years within six years I would apply almost supposedly hit the pinnacle of my job working with a top ten player eccentric etcetera and then it hits you get out of the year in the Walmart room you’ve got Rafi bonding all these guys on you now you got imposter syndrome you’ve wished this upon yourself and now you don’t know what you do he everybody’s watching your every move into those (imposter syndrome, ego, mindset with Howard Green & Aren Deu) you know after a while you do something that could be hundreds of people watching you do it so that you must be self diagnostics outside but also now you work in a level where everything Marxism and results do matter he wouldn’t be Junia it’s across the development at the center okay very very very stressful of of kind of demand on you as a person and very long demand uncertainty rugby schedule so my wife would ask okay in six months time we’ve got this wedding can we go don’t know what you mean you don’t know can I ask Michael do really well I thought I’m pretty much out in gold so my head head coach of the time basically sat on the office you as long as you want to look at it you can do it so I did like a ten ten day off season before Christmas right right join the contest really okay I’m consistently and then it was I going to comes out and a little yes California and then spend the entire summer pretty much training in the office and see my wife pretty much six seven one all the and then it got to the stage recently was (imposter syndrome, ego, mindset with Howard Green & Aren Deu) I want I didn’t really enjoy it I knew these guys get married so I think if I stay in the system I get invited to the wedding on my biggest is seen to be in this position and I might get some free added asking not like in London unless you know you go go to the big told me it’s got a big bag of stuff and it became more eagles not like you know how well she moved in I would make improvements in the gym I we make improvements on the Cole the I call on just two ways I could measure it no it’s small and by these almost thinking you’re famous eccentric such (imposter syndrome, ego, mindset with Howard Green & Aren Deu) I’m yeah got worse and worse and I should have walked away from the job and eagle cap me that like again I’m not gonna quit I’m not going to quit but the right decision would be to quit calling it would also from my own and so will be and the thing was she was in a great place instead of the mental health and I felt like I I would it but we’ll be able to help drive and that’s kind of all the reason I stayed around but the other one the other nests may moments was saddened was the famine the eagle below the problem is when I get stressed I usually drink and it’s not like (imposter syndrome, ego, mindset with Howard Green & Aren Deu) I’ve got only every day I need to drink but when you’re on the road and you’re in a hotel and we were stopping five star hotels then you probably have been a drink every day and then the stress takes a moment okay stop to drink a bit more sleep a bit last okay now would be a good thing said Bob if the by poll which usually you know losing your sleep I just bill unveiled on Belle and Belle and then I was holding for a few days and go out with a friend of mine that killed himself and some huge struggles in the past you know we we told tried to help but for whatever reason I took it on my shoulders and I was mindful but it wasn’t probably wasn’t the best thing is that the thing the straw that broke the camel’s back and everything just collapsed on my head just that was it eight fully fully fully came off I was in a really bad way I’m not playing I I I knew it so forget PTS date but it never been written and and any reasons it’s the full life all states that I got diagnosed bipolar as well so the old kind of mashed into one where eagle drill drill drill drill to the point where I just absolutely collapsed and couldn’t contain animal because just got just like all the time you know you’re not training as well as you should all these things we talk about self Kerr weren’t happening and yeah you just kind of it was so it was tough and then all three talked online to kind of the (imposter syndrome, ego, mindset with Howard Green & Aren Deu) they said like I I’m not when I’m with my by political low I only go to school hi and and be a bit of a rock really rusty aggressive horrible guy to be around that’s my date on it because I’m fifty and even even in the past couple weeks about to make a couple calls will look I just need to take a step back from Mexican to myself then and I’m on the spot so consistency over intense day I become so intense that I end up having some a bit of a little round like a week off for two weeks off workers comp Cole park and do anything the level of life so I know all the things I should do it all the time in between more insightful and I look a lot like the people around me I love the the red flags when I reset people if I says that say certain things it’s it’s a bit of a red flag I’m hopefully get a bit better about myself concerns of all this isn’t good I need to make a call call often not a good public talks it would be I don’t know where I got this from a flight if you say no to something you say no to that one thing if you say yes to something you say no to a lot of things so when you commit to that one thing whatever it might be you know you’re connected you connected in the lead in the accident after it so you know when these things come around either being offered you’ve got to kind of ask me what is not facing the tele choose the morning school student all day ride doesn’t fit me to another day doing what doesn’t what my problem is when I’m on a bit of a high I go looking for these things I start creating projects and ideas so it’s kind of a status just understanding kind of rolled red flags in your role in the kind of like I’m not a coffee before they signal talking pretty quick I could go on not now the coffee close to it I’ll just be rambling I love that there is so many things I was taking notes as you probably know is throughout that so we’re just segue backwards the first few things I think is really really important this is obviously in whatever field you’re in just tell everyone what you do so going off the secret if you tell yourself you can drive a Porsche for example is a lot different to telling the vote but obviously with that you need to put the action in which from everything you’ve done and demonstrate dot action isn’t a problem really for yourself for anything it’s more trying to get the consistency over intensity like you mentioned another great thing would tell everyone what you do not say this in the property field which is why operation as well is it opens your network up to let them know what you are after as well so opportunities will come by similar to yourself and then obviously accountability it makes you accountable the last thing you want to do is tell people you’re about to do something and then not do it because I don’t if you’re anything like me and you’re definitely a high high performer is that’s probably one of the worst things that you have to sit with with yourself by going to your journey then you touched on some things I think are really really important topics and maybe all to do this in a podcast that room which is ego which I think every single one of us has an eagle at some stage but recognizing that I’m for you to acknowledge that now I think I think that’s incredible because as men and as people we we want to believe we don’t have ego are you rightfully recognized that there was a part of your life if you just had told the you go down I recognized was a saving you would’ve been such a bad place and any process in Rome if possible is something I’m going through right this second and I always try to be transparent all my listeners where I’m in the property field and I started with like a small highs in the most part the slightly bigger highs I would just signing off now it’s something that’s we’re talking millions and it’s not just me myself as does a few parties involved and is building fifteen units off the ground there is a part of me now I think it really like and yet this was on my vision board twelve twenty four months ago and this is where I’ve always wanted to be and now I’ve got the opportunity I’m so afraid of messing the opal what if I don’t fit in a what if I don’t bring enough value to the deal and I’m really glad that you mentioned that because that’s also something that many of us will experience at some point any tips on that I guess if you’re gonna say these big things about the economy read like it up you gotta be ready I’ll be ready so I can help you if you if you’re striving for these high things on the call comes if you’re not ready this potential to damage your reputation at the same time like I was with the human body unless we stress it might generally push it a little bit and make it uncomfortable enough to get back to it so you know it it swings around and I’m simply going to try and become a high performer you’ve got be ready for the still but you’ve got it you know when I sent you about kind of you know what can I bring to the call in terms of actionable points all tapes is like what what transferable skills other unlike in terms of like raining on strengthening the steamer Kerr an awfully we talk about peer digestion I mean maybe I’m flexibility in your week days are harder and some the easier to give himself a rest no we would talk about the first stage of preparations general preparation on this is gonna be relatively high volume but low intensity to modern day in the week when you do all your apps and you steal the week by doing all these tasks that me moving to specific operational getting tents tables a little bit higher volume drops off before we go into pre competitions are leading up to a big tall man okay we ramp up the intensity massively out of the volume is low so you nominate you know these people talk about the grind and these people that sleep for freedom for hours I can’t do that I have a quick look nine actually nine hours if I don’t sleep nine hours and I’m good to nobody within two or three weeks so what’s the point anyway so you put the incense still remind me what called a couple days a week at that level and then if you go into like a big big big lie what you come in and say you need to taper so he going to do all the hard work that I think stocks to lead it the stock to block off an old what you feel in previous you can say it’s all gonna be there from via you can see your clown you put it into practice you’ve done the small ones the medium size the big times you’ve done you generally specific in your pre comp you know ready for the big deal so as long as you go into it com I’m not stressed out you had on the money stolen I mean I still transition you know don’t go straight into the next one I’m gonna have a few weeks off I’m not even gonna nice all of them are travelling from the ought to enjoy the successes of the week all the term you know I’m not coming down over a short period of time not to quit a job appeared ideation we okay I’m gonna plug the next three to four weeks roughly I’ll provide the next week in detail and I’ll review it on Sunday I’m not gonna change anything in the next race no three weeks ago Johnny James full week that’s why I don’t like gunshots you know early on excellent time similar to people put out ten year goals like that that’s ridiculous like what can you achieve in the next year I moved from the navy to use Xbox and it’s H. just dot fluidity and flexibility around all the minutes and stay within the week (imposter syndrome, ego, mindset with Howard Green & Aren Deu) from week to week spike maybe do it safely Spalding we need to do that’s what mine’s well very powerful you’ve literally stop my processing there right there as you are saying that because it made a lot of sense and it’s something that the the wife as echo to me as well she said well actually for the same amount of work that I’m doing now I’m getting higher awards where is back in the day that was within six to nine to twelve months to get that same work what she explained is it’s a process and it again it’s not even the gym for example does the same things that used to take me ages but now you can do it in almost half the time with the same intensity so I think the way you articulate that was definitely better my rambling I just finally as well before we jump into the fun part the show those I think that you mention at the end which I think is so important over every trade again which is when you say no to something you said no to one thing and as an anxious person saying no to somebody when they ask me for something was the hardest thing in the world and two weeks ago I made a decision I was gonna say no three times because I’m not yourself I want to take opportunities away to keep myself busy twenty four seven but then what happens is I can see myself and I get low and overwhelmed really starts to ice Ptolemy so I said no three times and I remember when I said no I was looking at the messages to see what their response was in terms of how what set them and I got no sort of animosity or nothing back and I was like I was so worried about that yet you’re free to my whole dari to them focus on myself and spend time with the wife and three weeks on a two to three weeks on that I’m in such a better place that now I’ll only say yes if if it’s my gender I’m segue off that then we’re gonna go into the phone for the shows that you called to pay for this bit but you probably had it previously and this is a whole array of random questions was sixty to ninety seconds what’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done comment out not set up okay I I would eight is clearly going over the top in Afghanistan yeah clearly it’s not going to build a knockdown I’ll clear not someone else yeah clearly singing or dancing dancing books only vis a vis the number one thing you look for in a person okay let’s reframe not the number one thing you look for in a tennis prospect yeah you see in their eyes you see the X. factor see also meant carry outs when he was younger and I was with amazing your privacy G. meant dot your favorite motivational speaker in Seminole David and John C. Maxwell’s good if you could sit with one person for in Iraq today dead or alive who would it be I am a ground that’s not your favorite tennis player not lost on the rough side just these is black I think it’s only about your favorite tennis path past I can see the aggression from number one thing that annoys you yeah we can get it locked I know I will get all the time that makes me hungry yeah Luigia like lack of preparedness so you talk to Michael means the full always under city just on that Rodman and all that it would have to go through that route to me I love that your west fair as a child I’m just so not much I’m just so not my child cells and I was like it’s there’s just so much different your wish fan either not even coming close to what I want to achieve and finally would you rather know how you would die when you die me I’m not bothered nothing coming close I’ll be close enough to have that dialogue yeah very close so it is what it is it’ll happen on a drop in on stress about it thank you that is the end of the phone pot so we literally heading towards end of the show and I may and the next question is about reflection so you’ve done a lot you’ve been through a lot and we’ve only managed to just scratch the surface intend to some of your story what I want to know is if you could maybe go back to that young the stuff that you just mentioned that isn’t quite the person that you are now today and you could whisper something in his is knowing everything that you know not what would you say you don’t need any consolidated I don’t need to be working with a professional athlete to note on that okay coach I don’t need to make sure I’m making a difference no seven to send the kids away to American I work with for like twenty seven and nine years I’m not a bigger impact on my life than a year on the road with no lights on so you know he helping others will get a lot more satisfaction in trying to be better than others absolutely I think that’s such a great lesson into the what you said they just helping people and whether you can really and not worrying so much about the extent of validation that is so key especially for mental health is about recognizing yourself I always say finding your voice is your voice is not about what how it’s doing and if you think wow is doing is fantastic but the still to be a part of you that may want to do ever so slightly different so recognize yourself become self aware enough that you can put a trace where you’ve got ego or you’ve got a pasta syndrome and they learn learn from people like yourself that you’ve got some great fascinate in ways of thinking it’s a lot more structured the me just thinking talking and trying to figure out as I’m going along so on that it can take so much time to stroll along to get to this point like I I’ve made a friend of ours friend of mine it’s easy to deal with next we meet once a week every week initially was to get me ready for a race (imposter syndrome, ego, mindset with Howard Green & Aren Deu) and now it’s still in that we could die and would not talk about business we might talk about an athlete might talk about what all not just then but having gotten the diary just to speak every week hi so important to be able to you know talking therapy ultimately talk about all sorts of carpet also in the primary a day in Austin also insider take I do take medication Michael I’m not one of these people I need it if I don’t if I forget to how the eight o’clock tonight and go to bed I’ll get to light I’m only full city block nine ten I’m not a forgotten something that’s so I need them just to show like show me down so I’m not I’m in a great place for the night and I was in a true rendition has issue with them another time so you’ve got to bear with it like I literally like a son of a low number of depressed but I went and said medication (imposter syndrome, ego, mindset with Howard Green & Aren Deu) I was an absolute whole goal weight to the point that it’s an issue in some principles to stabilize you and put you in the middle are you out either to law to how you have to speak out really really quickly and if you’re seeking help I’m about I’m just gonna double time like if you’re trying to get help if you’re trying to get help and you most how somebody on your side it I DO not somebody on your side that can do the donkey work the ringing round and speaking to the doctors and everybody else because it be trying doing is how is the most frustrating system I’ve ever been involved in my life in the military is a bit of a terrible system go you know the amount of time you have to wait to speak to people and the lack of funding eight eight eight you must be patient and you must not be going aside if you’ve not my wife’s doing non this sport family I got shot definitely I don’t know where it would be a generally don’t aren’t they and because the state is in a sorry state offers the more you can do to be insightful look after yourself and not let it get to the point where you’re in a bad way because this debate just on its own but then to be crying out for help and it takes so long just try and recognize it early and if somebody like close to you highlights a bill by the head office don’t start putting everything on them that they’re seeing you the same things that you cannot see yourself so you’ve got to listen you gotta take on gold maybe not moment you don’t wanna listen but maybe reflect on it but later on and actually the Ryan also expected for that ring in certain people are you know a lot of light sauce what’s can you speak into the Mike eyes while the jets I’m no no no I know how to I just got these things happen and they spoke to head of the team just got I I’m being really honest you know when you say no to people still don’t wanna I just said this is how I feel you know I’m bout to bring athletes when you bring back somebody from injury it’s quite a stressful situation communicate with everybody not doing too much not doing too well and spring fifteen plus athletes back from almost injury by being on call they denied the buckle I was just fully overwhelmed by just told people as I was feeling I said look I need to step back from this because I feel overwhelmed you have to be honest and you got a contact you’ve just got the news that the opportunity costs of being a failure whatever it is whether it’s the way it dealt with something psychologically all something of what you’ve just gotta learn from it I know it’s a cliche book you know we would set a time to reflect on what happened why this happened and I’m just trying not to repeat that same mistake maybe just in my day but just not as often I’m just maybe to keep a journal I’m just jealous of banks you can you know much about noble was just some random random stuff when I was a bad way like yeah it’s it’s it’s quite crazy to look I’m gonna get says but memories of combatants two thousand night our interests in coal you know you need please use the people around you before it’s too late thank you so much for that I think that was in him that’s probably going to help so many more people because of obviously the mental health of these are in the struggles with what they’re going through now and there’s so many important things I I kind of beat the drum about which is learn to listen learn to talk to people prevention is definitely the best cure aboard about prevention I’m always saying make time for your health now we have to make time for illness later on so if you’re committed to not only enhance your mental health but also your physical well being too then you need to check out our new sponsors politics out providing you the best superfoods leads on the market in the non GMO vegan gluten free and of course (imposter syndrome, ego, mindset with Howard Green & Aren Deu) got it for me as they bring you superfoods like no others you have seen on the market they also don’t just stop there as a provide you free consistent information to educate and empower you on your overall health and well being journey so don’t just stop at the end of the find your voice episode get yourself some excel blades and put the odds in your favor what’s it goes live there will also be a unique discount for anyone he comes from the far edge of voice podcast as you guys are not part of my family I not only want to see you thrive even though so check out the links in the description below to get notified as soon as they go live but to the episode and the last point is incredible that’s being honest and having the courage to be honest so raw this is seen as a weak thing saying I feel low or I just don’t feel up to it actually takes courage to be a hundred percent transparent in order to do that myself of dirt with podcast of hot tea consul part because at the last minute because I’m trying to force myself to be in a in a good frame of mind but some days I wake up and I’m in a horrible funk and the last thing I want to do is what somebody on the show and not do you justice and not be the best performance so massive massive points so thank you for sharing that and I just think when you hear it from a marine as well it’s going to mean a lot more than myself so that’s why it was important to get you on that obviously point to show that I’m not does suddenly then bring us to the last question in the last question is about legacy my friend if a hundred fifty years time side starts to save us and all that exists is a book and this book is about you it’s about your life it’s about or the way the wonderful things that you’ve done in order to accomplishments let’s see what we can always book with the title of this book B. and secondly what with the summer at the back tell us about you knew this was coming up I did all the time I’ve got another one I remember not I will I will I will I can I would say ambition the pros and cons on the summary will be understandably ambitious person is going to put you in situations where you got to be successful but it’s also gonna constant stress are you going to learn from the mistakes continue to push for in order to continue to push forward the dots you’ll kind of mission keeping going to access the you don’t need to not just helped a woman is your unique selling point is you on your journey will never be repeated again so there’s no point looking on somebody else Instagram account is that not yet I love the I noticed when I ask you just about that and so in regards to yourself how do you want to be remembered as a saying they don’t care how much you know until they know and what you cat so I’d like to say that doctors be it like everybody I work with I serve I do care about the only reason I’m doing it it’s not like I said until it’s no longer a validation is not on the surface I I just genuinely care about you your child you’ll play whatever not be like I genuinely care I think we can see the I love that may this is been a fascinating conversation with someone I want to do now is give you a chance to connect with the audience I want the audience to connect with you if that would be okay with yourself what is the best way that they can connect with you for your content and learn from you Instagram and it’s not gonna be relevant on this topic really and yeah I think not been into the tackle messages be selfish I’m not yet in a position I don’t know if I ever will be to lead from the front I’m happy to do what we’ve done today and I would do it as often as possible but I’m not going to stop looking on are stopping comes and are directly on this I’m not I I need to one day I’m at a I’m happy today I’m much more happy to talk like this and like say stand up at the front and you know that’s what the twenty you know there’s not much debate in part or in PCS St into twenty five classes twenty five does not not making any difference I’m sorry guys but it’s not like that’s not addressing the issues it’s not addressing the abandonment it’s not addressing why people got PTSD eight eight it doesn’t arise when US I don’t know if it does I mean the people that do that twenty five percent tax legal and looking to beat yes they all understand they did it L. six eight eight it’s kinda it’s tough yeah and if you’re interested in tennis and you can speak on his stuff well and it’s yes I H. green times it almost plastic I’ll put that in the show notes as well and again one thing I recognize I used to listen to podcasts about seven years ago is sometimes it could just be a quote or a sentence that somebody said I’m not I’m not the way that person think so maybe somebody will come for your content not necessary to learn about PTSD or buying or not but just you as a person because you’ve taken time out you showed your wisdom and I I love wisdom being something that’s come from experience that’s something that you’d expect you not just read a topic habits and then spoke about atomic habits you develop these habits not just through your coaching and your leadership but also through the marines is also I think that’s what people are gonna really resonate with you yeah I’m not so they can sorry that’s where they can say but if they want to message me message me so I will get I will get back to it I mean some of the coaches recently being you’re not alone the phone number on the top and I just let me know yeah but yeah I. D. please if you do want to reach out and say anything or asking if and I’m more than happy to spend time and I will reply to rebut it thank you have a pre share that and before we close the show when I say my final goodbye is there anything that you wish I’d said to you is that one final message wanted to what is with paradox if you do what you love you’ll never work a day in your life absolute bull crap you’ll all the work we constantly connected you take everything personally you destroy relationships and its work the new change I it a law it’s a job switch off love that man I think that was a might drop moment but I have to say bye so I just would extend my hand made because I always say this to you anyone who takes time out the day to come on the show and how people what it is this show is successful because of people like yourself it helps raise awareness one person show is always been my kind of mine trend philosophy behind this if you can just change one person’s mind and change the trajectory of their life and I think we definitely don’t mind the story I’d love to get you back in six twelve months time if you can because there’s so many questions that I want to know some gossip on tennis players obviously G. D. P. R. O. that would not say the name from just interested in understanding that what S. ma’am autos are going three do they have the same kind of things but that’s a conversation for another day I wish you all the best obviously with your health as well and thank you so much for taking time every day my friend I’m forever unless a home thank you for listening enjoy the and remember this podcast is absolutely free so all we ask in return is for you to share this with a friend and drop us a five star review over on iTunes have an awesome day