I’ve felt some incredible highs in property BUT just as significant as those I have FELT the lowest of lows. More so with my own mental health in property.
From the moment, I took property investing seriously, I have documented my journey with 100% transparency. I remember actually writing my 1st ever Facebook posts and getting anxious! In fact, I figured, not realising it would serve me well that I would be 100% honest in my documenting. I documented the good, the bad & UGLY!
I have shown myself in my earlier years to be a stupid property investor!
Who would have thought that watching Homes Under The Hammer wouldn’t be enough to successfully flip a property eh?
I have also showed that I can learn from my mistakes & make back my losses.
But even then, mistakes continue to come.
Trust me, I have yet to go a week without a teachable moment.
In fact, we will ALL always have teachable moments that we can benefit from. So be vigilant for them and then learn from them.
But also prevalent in this game is Loneliness.
Loneliness, continues to creep up. Maybe it’s worse for me, because I hate networking events. I don’t like acts, I dont like being in crowds, and I feel far more comfortable with myself or 1-2-1. In fact I remember writing a post about 2/3 years ago on this. It still rings true today.
I have had moments where I sit alone, in my own thoughts (which isn’t always a great place to be) watching my own actions, and the actions of others and pulling my hair out.
Yet the teachable moments, from observing others and my own ways, in this game continue to pile up. They continue to enhance my experience and knowledge. They can do the same for you too.
All those losses that continue to pile up add to your mental resilience. They build your mental strength, even though it feels like a battering at times.
For me, being punched in the face for a day job was much easier.
I was prepared for that. I knew what I was getting myself into.
But this game was different. This game will lift a carpet from underneath you and remove the floor before you descend.
Dealing with the unexpected
I was unaware that it would be as tough as it has been. I am sure those of you starting out, can attest to this.
The doubts, the imposter syndrome, the comparisons, the striving for goals to change our lives and those around us consume us. It is these that are way worse than getting offers rejected or losing a few £££ off your desired resale price.
To add to that, when you are truly trying your hardest behind the scenes & you are seeing people having no disregard for the well-being of others & exploiting people it becomes sickening and frustrating. I have moments where I want to be a vigilante and save the world, but at the same moment I need saving myself.
At times I have been financially broke, mentally crippled and disheartened at the state of the world and the state of some peoples actions.
- People are hurting people to sell themselves. Or their services.
- People are buying their influence.
- People are exploiting people who just want to change their lives for the better. This is heartbreaking.
- People are treading over people to get themselves in a higher position.
And the more I try to comprehend this, the worse I feel. The more thoughts enter my cluttered mind, as I sit alone behind a laptop for countless hours a day.
It is hard to take. It’s difficult to see. The silver lining is though is a lesson I learnt growing up: “The truth will always come out”.
If people believed and remembered this, maybe they wouldn’t sacrifice short term gain for long term pain they will succumb too when the noise settles.
Maybe you can resonate with that? Or maybe you will one day.
Trust is fragile
Furthermore, this journey has taught me so much about other people, but also so much about myself.
You see some of my biggest flaw and downfalls have been down to my trusting nature. Conversely, my biggest wins have also come off the back of my trusting nature.
But this year, alone has had its ups:
- I have been fortunate to have purchased a £100k flat for £0 (legals). Details will come soon.
- I have been part of a Planning uplift that makes close to a 6 figure return.
- I have secured a site that will give a minimum 9 flats, 2 brand new dwellings with the potential to have £0 money left in. This will be documented too.
So its not all doom & gloom.
But if you know me, providing I have enough money to buy protein bars and cover my bills I am blessed. So my excitement isn’t probably as high as some would expect. Instead, I sit here saddened, uncomfortable and distressed.
In this journey I have seen the true colours of people who have taken advantage of people to a sickening extent. Heck even I have been on the other side. Some have been exposed, some are being exposed and some will. This is a good thing for the industry, but it is also a good thing for those of you who may feel like I have at times.
But in the midst of this savage mentality we are witnessing there is definitely some good people out there. There is definitely reasons to invest in property and to use it to allow you to do the things you love.
I have been able to do some amazing things and meet some amazing people because of it. I have also learnt so much about myself and realised I am not who I was at 25, 20, 18 or before that. Right now I can say that:
- I am proud of my growth and excited for my future. You should be too!
- I can proudly say that it has been worth not giving up. It would have been for nothing. My story is still be written.
- I am proud I never lost hope in people, even after being taken advantage off. It would have stopped my blessings.
- I am proud I never let those nights of doubting myself take over and cause me to stop.
- I am proud for the most part I never let my health slide.
The emotions that clutter my mind
And although this year caused me more pain & sleepless nights than I would ever wish on anyone, I SEE it as a year of teachable moments.
I have seen peoples true colours. Those close to me, those not so close to me. Those online, those in person.
And yes I do believe, the sad truth is that we are only worth something to some people when we can offer them something.
The dynamics shift once you stop promoting certain peoples services or loaning them money.
I have heard some sad stories of people this has happened too, and I have seen it first hand myself.
Help without expectations
Dignity people. Google it. Learn it. Act it.
However, unlike my other posts I always try to add value. I don’t like speaking for the sake of speaking. There is nothing more annoying than that.
However I always want to time collapse peoples journeys & help people not go through the shit I go through, with 0 expectations. I don’t need anything from you. Instead, use that energy to give yourself a better chance of not being hurt and winning.
Protect your mental health & do & be better.
You see, I say that because I have seen mental health break my family & this game or the game of a real entrepreneur game can do the same.
It is not something you can prepare for reading a book.
So with that I want to leave you with a list of things I believe should help, and I apologise if this post was disjointed as I have just sat here since 11:30 writing it straight from my cluttered mind:
22 tips that may help you protect your mental health in property
1. Know that property/entrepreneurship will hit you with the highest of the highs, but also the lowest of the lows. It is not like a normal job and it will test you. Appreciate the highs, and learn from the lows.
2. Know that in property for true wealth and cashflow, it takes time, resilience and sweat equity. Yes there are means of earning a bit here and there quickly, but if you are interested in building a solid foundation, learn the craft and do it right.
3. Have a good network around you. Not just for property but for your sanity. I have the best friends & family that I could wish for. I have people who call me daily to see if I am okay. That means more to me than anything. Of course being the introvert I am, I rarely answer and just text back or drop a voice note. Sorry all, love you really 🙂.
4. Know that you can become anyone you want to on social media. Which means a lot of people are doing exactly that. They are creating this image of themselves, yet behind closed doors their truth is so, so far from their online presence.
5. Don’t write captions online if they aren’t your truth. Rather accept your current truth and if it isn’t ethical change your ways. Actions > Words. Writing you are a good person is not the same as being a good person.
6. Education is important. But it can also be done with connecting with people, working with people, learning from books, podcasts or others mistakes (mine!) It does not need to cost you money. I will be uploading 150 videos soon [YouTube Channel] to give everything that goes on in my mind about property to help people. It is FREE and I believe is worth something of value.
7. Mental & Physical health should be your priority before you start this game in my opinion. If your mindset & health isn’t right you may find yourself crumbling before you start, even if your intentions are positive.
8. Recognise your journey is exactly that. YOUR journey. Don’t compare, don’t watch others in awe. Most people aren’t talking about their failures like the great quote states.
9. Recognise that the ONLY real person who wants the best for you, is you. So concentrate on some self love and self worth. The next few people if you are blessed are your spouses, siblings or friends as I can vouch for.
10. Get excited when you are wrong! Don’t worry about being wrong, or imperfect. Heck this post probably has 100 mistakes. Being wrong is good. It teaches you what not to do next time.
11. Take accountability. don’t blame others thinking that you aren’t to blame. Whether that is planners, investors, builders, solicitors etc. Blame yourself. If you blame others you give away your power and opportunity to grow as a person. You forfeit your power to change your circumstances.
12. Recognise that your first deal will never be your best deal. You will get better if you learn from your mistakes.
13. Believe in yourself. don’t let imposter syndrome kick in. If someone is more confident than you, that doesn’t mean you aren’t right or more capable or as worthy.
14. Reach out for help to the good people in property, because there are some. I will help anyone and ever since my 1st property at 25 I have never charged anyone. Ps this is not a slate towards anyone charging, just saying you can get free advice.
15. Know that it’s okay to have days when you don’t know if you are going the right way. I have these a lot.
16. Know that is okay to have days when you don’t work as hard as you could have. I have these too.
17. Know that social media for the majority is everyones CV, not their deepest insecurities, fears and failures.
18. Know that I am round the corner, and mental health is not a buzz word for me so reach out.
19. Learn to become resourceful. Your ability to find money, time and the right skill sets is they key to success in this game.
20. Be less trusting of everyone until you broken them down with DD. Don’t be stupid like me. If I didn’t have the support of my family and friends things could have been worse for me the past few months.
21. Just because someone writes they are “insert buzz word” does not mean they are.
22. Don’t favour money over people. People are more important than money
Thank you, if you made it this far. I hope it adds some value and if you ever need to talk you know where I am.