Living with bipolar disorder & changing the way we look at Mens mental health
“My only regret in life was not talking” by Dean
Dean is an open book and one whos story gives hopes, encouragement and strength to anyone battling with mental health. As it is mental health awareness week, it was important to get this episode out today. Dean battles with bi polar disorder on a daily basis and is consistently working on being kind to himself and encouraging others to speak more about what is going on in their lives. A full transparent individual who shares not only his struggles but also his processes to help give tangible takeaways and steps to lift yourself out of the darker days that we all experience.
A personal trainer, a father, an ex army veteran and a friend, Dean is not just someone with bi polar. He is much more than that, just as you are all much more than your job titles, or the tags that people put on you. Be more, become more and learn about yourself as we go through this find your voice journey to truly become a better version and master or at least control your mental and physical well being to the best of your ability.
I urge you all to follow Deans story, not just because it is mental health awareness week, but also because his story is authentic and powerful and full of tangible insights (such as the 4 steps of resilience) to coping with our daily battles much better.
Also do not forget to check out our new sponsor: https://www.healthxcel.co.uk
[04:15] PTSD Diagnosis & Dean wanting to commit suicide
[10:00] Deans perspective on gratitude
[13:05] Deans morning routine
[22:00] Bi polar disorder – Who is Dean?
[31:10] 4 steps of resilience
[40:00] We all have a choice
Episode on forgiveness:
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okay sorry they say it’s to make my experience relatable this one individual cast my bachelor star at a joke about Bob it was a gift I help people daily and I’m going through a slot transition and change a multinational training gray welcome to an episode of find your voice a movement led by yours truly Aren Deu a guy who was overcome crippling anxiety adversity and difficulty like so many of you in life whose main goal now is to help you combat your excuses take control of your life write your own story and most importantly find your voice so now without further ado I welcome the host of the show himself Mr Aren Deu what’s going on people thank you for tuning in to another episode of find your voice my name is Irene Khan is always I am the host of the show so today we are going to discuss changing the way we look at men’s mental health and I’m so glad to welcome D. onto today’s episode and bearing in mind that it is mental health awareness week I am conscious that I wanted to release a few more episodes but Margaret doesn’t stop here Margaret would never stop I’m just a mental health awareness week I really want to make an impact on a daily basis for as many people as possible to give people hope and the story gives you hope because there is somebody who has battled with suicide he has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder he was an army vet who came out with PTSD but he has an incredible spirit and his office Bective on PTSD that we discussed in this episode and he’s just somebody who openly shares his vertebral ease any stories and that’s why I resonate with him but also want to thank one of our listeners who actually put me in touch with dean himself and it was through conversations back and forth with dean dot I thought this is definitely somebody who is perfect for the find your voice podcast so for that reason I truly hope you find this useful there is definitely some clever approach the season systems at dean uses in a three and a four step process that we can all start to implement today and taken to maybe help us move forward and find a voice in life so now without further ado let’s get this interview on the way welcome to the show how are you doing today it’s a nice guy is it easy gratification this wall and when they %HESITATION when the sun was shining abandonment daycare absolutely right absolutely so I obviously have got to know you over the last few weeks %HESITATION very very grateful to have done that because you’ve taught me a lot as well even in our last conversation so I’m hoping we can get that into here but just for anyone listening not he’s not heard of you will follow your content on Instagram for example give us a little bit of an insight into your story I’m Y. you do some of the things that you do today yeah I’m from a military background how do we cannot bring in patrons my mom my mom’s a FISA I see what she she has multiple scratches my my dad drive off after my mom died days stay in all the cases are exceptional I’m enjoying his voice so just six days by a gentleman showed off my surprise shade why did they did it I want to follow in the sense that strap when three moderate operational chose I am all right go up the opportunities to do some encouraging both things at my shot shots incredible things I am I last I’m just not back to normal I see this is Jerry or are it was very show I am always quiet quiet wait please respond to the things and now I have no control I locks drinking it was such an outgoing problem by any means well %HESITATION I drug addiction there’s a very easy choice is a choice I wouldn’t have a car I wouldn’t think about making it was just buying Geisler and yes yes things happen there was big spells of depression there’s some crazy are you I I went to the doctor is just standard very frustrated many times share and and it and the standard procedure is trying today I’m is diagnosed PTSD I also detest the salaries that we think his pager stay as general public eyes it’s just the army the gasket and the rise awareness so that and lots of people get is raw sample we touch on their own this is a very easy thing to guard cherry waves and with the British Army he still relies so depressed by case yesterday that’s it article in the system well I can take myself in the system because I were always felt well she’s things are guaranteed and there will be light shine in in two thousand and seventeen eighteen was the pilot of the pressure it was the longest I’m I’m my life and my gym teacher science I want to J. land that god I wouldn’t say I didn’t want to be Hey that that was my only option I couldn’t handle it it was I wish always make a section and twice as for the system %HESITATION when I come out hello all I destroyed my show it was west it was so much worse is on that was trauma again and also is a sight out but then I see I see things are followed with family and how it is affecting people in there was still something that it was some compassion that it was there was a motion there I just didn’t understand the Martians I know I always I attempted suicide get it was a cry for help and the moment that %HESITATION I was saved rescuing people was very efficient and diverse state has different reasons why it happened to me it was just being in a series of events and always section began very great day and and the and the host was are we we don’t think this is why C. H. and we we think that you’ll start to build a platform and I went into the crisis team classes getting billed for it and then later on I was in mom’s when is the right shade my like complete madness and and they don’t generate co stock and how much I’ll let you know how they reckon I started reading pull pasta dishes and it was diagnosed with now he says also is the on site when in savings I’m gonna save the world all men to have a family to a stink monitory sayings okay a self into a dark place again completely just zero and all that well they start to be done true choices decisions and then now from there it’s just been learning Latin in the onus on the stand in a understanding how it affects me and this year is a company is going to affect yeah now and it is not easy audience along side by side we work together against each other I know he is in Oregon tonight is different so I think they show me a strike I’m going to change the way either way is man look at all I remain so hal and I also want people Jerry look how they look at mental health and things like the stigmata you could stick with a different day and I look at how we trying to say so that’s where I’m at now and I come away from so she made a comeback as a self campfires there and I know I am not from start to collaborate people with stability %HESITATION and share experience for me away in a C. share an experience with glass bottles they are now when is a mental health issue I’ll come back from social media lock on an online wow how powerful soft platforms always over there but that’s where I’m at now that’s a interesting comparisons there as well so when you talk about your extreme nature and this is something I’ve got to know you bought offline you remind me of myself that we need like a challenge in life so no you do not the physical aspect analyst we hate when we focus in on this challenge we almost feel redundant but it was an important thing you said here this is about you want to change the world and you want to change higher mental health was in this space especially for men as well have you been through what you’ve been through now what I have is I a and I love the analogy used that you live along side by Paula all I see is I. as much although it comes sometimes in the day and it kind of disappears in the night but one of the things I recognize myself is that I have this innate desire to do what I do in terms of trying to make people not feel alone trying to make people know there is a way out of it or if there is a way to cope with it but it’s taxing like extremely toxic %HESITATION we spoke about this in terms of even said this part because itself there are some days where I’ll be fully transparent here because I know you did the same but I don’t feel like talking and it’s horrible because my whole job %HESITATION purpose is to help people and be there for people but there’s a element of a south K. I think which I think is really really important that’s something I wanted to discuss with you not because I think what start to do now is re frame in my head that if I want to talk to somebody and post about mental health today will send videos of great content does not meet doing a disservice to anyone suffering with the dust me actually looking after myself so I can come back tomorrow wonder if that makes sense so what kind of stuff do you do in terms of what self care for yourself now and having the awareness that I’m struggling I need to look after myself yeah I I’m not sure there’s a database is arm tasked with trying on god for the genuine that I always have been and I always talk to people my my thing is there is no quick fix it is the wattage baseboard and it is a lot of fun on my website I will give you a quick fix and it’s a little out of their diet makes all these things in a so I can see your way in you gotta work for it he’s right you go girl and it will show its basics the second box each is back to basics is basic we’ve lost that night in the morning I’ll check in with myself and it’s very natural now and I speak about skills I can we still has a scale is apt to jade well Hey you’re not shooting hostage is tough because you can use this address in the morning is a structure Kennesaw how do I feel that it is not the case if you don’t analyze instructional this morning how beautiful you know I’m sure grateful what’s go on the people that go ahead I’m not I’m not sure alarm clock sound cliche you people don’t do it because it’s those cliches are dying off just woken up like this all through good what about it’s just kind of that you know why why do I feel good is the minimum Y. cai how why and the site started investing much time on the triggers but watch out for okay sorry %HESITATION I recharged over the weekend that’s a massive amount of hours from bay is a lie that’s why so you recognize that and take note of it join the next offer maze is our Walmart I don’t buy that show important and at the minute mental health which is used in client client for me this was I what can I do to neutralize manzana strikes also switched on today I can get a job starting get tossed on how morning reaching module about mourning the changes I learned in the army we adopted it issues for the mental health what would you only utilize my time well I’m not mine is on the outside on the street in a sidewalk construction projects but your hours towards a balance which is clean one remarkable one scrambled on get you at the bank are why that well I’m not going to keep all of our laws to stop my day’s day by day mental health these day by day if you do this is exhausted stuff is coming ahead media state since ninety motions laugh you can have that long term stay we have an unexpected loss almost popped out what was going on it is understanding it and im Westen was figured out walking control Walkom controller that’s kind of cool why must I swear that show is simple well it’s funny because I speak to the wife the other day we do a lot of personal development we read a lot of books and I’m always trying to understand why people do what they do I don’t understand myself as well and I think the most awful way you are the more you trial these habits these disciplines in your day you start to understand that it really is a simple stuff and I suppose it becomes simple because when you break it down to strip it back and you implemented a lot just being happy by looking outside and seeing the birds singing in the sun now make you smile is the Lee that’s quite useful in an instant but like you said sometimes we almost think it has to be difficult or it’s cliche will stay away from and we’re looking for these magic bullets not people offering but I love the way it can just be done within yourself so you mentioned that you had a morning routine I’m really interested because you got this from the army as well I do say that it can help with mental health would you fill this in by the all the doctor dies in trying to get inside it skills you won’t get it right and these days on one day it is nine five shots off based on these babies god is done right you didn’t do it he’s got a lot more moments today side again it goes back to actually buy you out because you south away from the lord and now and I know if I’m sorry I don’t quite keep try try this way hoping thank goodness I’ll wake up in the morning and always call nationality courts find this morning and I was so I was stopped by a police say simple are you today all right ask for five ten minutes away not sure it’s not it’s not yeah press on well how do I spell check in and it’s on sale and also %HESITATION then check myself with someone close by the support networks now because I use it message press must ask okay I’ll make my day why make it so you can travel well I I mean that’s the size by god small danger to see how things might %HESITATION I still do not want to go back inside and then the biggest one in some ways is marble side I will get shut shut my mouth this is a drug you may dial the main hit show you in the morning as we look for does mean hit and that’s why social media was originally my life was was always to connect people we can quickly check box it was to keep people over and over again so I don’t charge this for two hours long time really hard thank god anyway looks to gratification gratification and again it’s cliche and you still owe me a serious all Walmart doing this is expensive now it’s not spiritual H. no I said it’s just steps to happiness all right when you feel I was such an Iowa company good I’m a student I woke up at a good price and then what I’ll do is I’ll start to build a morning read J. J. this is something we clap and cycle and teach more you can do what I call my train marker for Ron my kinda session but that would be the next thing I know how musical and I’m gonna call three I’m gonna J. and then I will then take my medication the end and then all will do all the work because this is very hard to stay away from it interferes with your life sorry I get it all well done the end of the aisle visualize my die seis sit around for every step I’m not well I’ve got this I’ve got that if I don’t actually I don’t have to do that it’s also good I’ll do that and try and hit something to look forward today and what I do is I’ll quickly think back to what I’ve done I think she’s sorry Marcin four one recognizing the way they want to say you know what he’s done well you’ve done well the Chief Justice fans always in an hour two hours awesome what is raised and then I’m just going to my next call Monday and last time it doesn’t happen if we die from the plastics I’m I will come up and just a lot well well well %HESITATION yes okay Sharon there’s some okay it’s not a big problem shot one reason why we don’t have cold showers because when we we like to be comfortable in the morning by having a cold shower as health benefits at a Walmart store actually chooses not to health benefits health benefit because we always get calls for art and I was hoping I love that so there’s a few things I want to pick out there so you could see I was right notes again the first bit you said that you don’t put pressure on yourself to do this every single day yes you understand the benefits of it but you’re not overwhelm yourself or beating yourself up with the pressure that if you miss a day I’m not a gay cruise but declined this which I think is probably the most important thing that we should or do you also said you get I’m not truly now the last week I start getting up naturally I used to be that person think it I have to get out of bed now or the wasn’t lazy I’m I’m not disciplined enough and once I do it is I have this ten minutes not where I’m just let my body color I don’t touch my phone and I think I think of all the excuses of why I’m not gonna work out first thing in the morning I I will commit I know what I say is right okay how would you feel twelve o’clock or three o’clock or six o’clock in the same day if you don’t get not done or if somebody comes into your inbox or somebody calls you and is about circumstance not how well prepared are you within those ten minutes so they go brush my teeth and then by the time I brushed my teeth and how does the war I’m not let’s do it this is going to exercise any redirects the other thing was your main points for the support network which I think is really really important and I don’t mean just people on social media I mean how can somebody can call as a friendly with my employer and you said you says the report you use it a lot of people have support around it but they never use it because they fail yeah can I say this as someone something that was really really an important point you’re going to graduate and hello I love this word it’s a step to happiness and let’s face it every single one of us we want happiness in life you want as much happiness is because as the %HESITATION paid as it comes up if you think it’s cliche you’re listening to this why not just say this is a step to my happiness and then the last thing which I think is actually the best point is a soft words tempos this way you just off a three day you look back and you thought because all the things I’ve accomplished now especially people like ourselves to about it without those on a daily basis we don’t give ourselves enough credit for the things that we do die I just always have things that we don’t do the things that we have to do so that’s going to stay just in his office and I told you this when we spoke previously before this podcast up so there’s a lost if you do not have that sees basic TV but I promise you people are doing outside not any any general either we we when we do these things are all costs with racks inside we always talk about mental illness which is great we don’t necessarily look is mental health collectively %HESITATION I mean by that is that even if you don’t think well you don’t have mental illness still do it because it kind of happened you can control your valuable is it but it can happen mental illness and mental health that’s very different and you can find yourself in situations throughout the day and again check to show friends or find a route change format and it’s a sorry sorry important China even if you don’t think you’ve got mental illness it will cost you might have to call stuff is a cool half we prioritize our physical how how it how we do ABS muscles we tried twice this is absolutely a few in mind yes I’m a hundred percent agreed and when you follow deed after this episode you’re definitely going to see he looks after his physical house because you’re any credible shape while more hot you have before you know you as a person is not not a you’re putting the same emphasis on your mind as well because I believe your mental health is more important than the size of your biceps so your odds for example so I absolutely love that yeah I want to ask you something then that you mention at the beginning of the episode which was the diagnosis of bipolar and the symptoms that somebody was able to recognize what symptoms were recognizable by this diagnosis that maybe somebody less than nine maybe suffering the same issue that can get early intervention I think for me it wasn’t all I didn’t well I wasn’t the one that rationalized slash what else takes the brunt of it %HESITATION goes very Christ Christ Christ fragments are used on the those vile cool Paul Wellstone at what and we met a guy and J. J. for asylum G. four S. I’m on with me when I used to train Iraqi is a guy so I think that’s a great answer may is that the pressure on the site was log I’m involved in this exact house my house down in the kitchen and that was all right did this was obvious I am why not what’s wrong and that was kind of the same right although how do you say I didn’t really have any money then the money as a reward all eyes now doesn’t respond I am today but your distress not a child I had a support network I wasn’t happy I still get out now I’ll go I’ll go no good savings I wasn’t happy so watch out of all these things I don’t want to pay a month or one by nature because of the triggers the Manics size I am really not it was manic so I racked to me it was the depression I did not ask for bipartisan Mazen identity crisis even now I struggle with is may it’s just tied isn’t a day hypophysitis sometimes but yeah I think that’s impressive was the side like that was the first triggers that was the first recognizable fan it took a long time yeah that’s interesting so I’m putting you on the spot here a little bit you saying there’s an identity crisis almost and that’s kind of my understanding of bi polar where your one pistol bomb and you’re very extremist almost at two ends of the spectrum for yourself when you’re at your best self who are you he would you consider yourself to be my hi I’m not I’m dying and you know I will I still dying he said this is a discovery off I think this may be my first visit is may and then I’ll start just to figure out what the film is a little bit and then I will be honest Bob this is losses to gay sorry please say it’s to make my experience relatable just one individual that’s that’s that’s my Baptist right I’ll talk about you as a gift I help people daily and I’m going through a slot transition and change a multinational training crash I’m not as much to feel much like it’s not that I want to get more into my strength and condition and I want to I want to start being more excited by buying it now and last month still might that’s what makes me happy this would be that it takes a long time some people J. Ross they don’t find it some people find it really quickly I mean people talk about is that why you know in the business world %HESITATION but yes it’s striking a series of events find that I want it differently each time some people this is all possible I was a bit different ways and lost on but it did that the concept is still design I like that and I think in some aspects it’s our adversity that said lied to us to find a passion so mine’s very similar to yourself with the find your voice podcast when I started this it was one person to be inspired by the episode a lot one person who listens to a story here I think you know what I now have the capability of changing my life from what I’ve heard or somebody has experience something like me and if they can get through it then why can’t I get through that’s kind of my mentality in the gym I always defer your mentality that what if they can do that I can do that do the same so it’s strange not it’s actually the things that we live with the bi polar and these I eat I have since brought that passion I love it so I sometimes think when I look at people and I can see through a lot of people here this always secure %HESITATION all they have is money for example of the talking about money I’m not you haven’t find your purpose and although I might not be aired in the same amount of money for example I found my purpose is that message from a random stranger saying yeah well I just listen to that has kept me going for the day for me there is no better input than not and I see you do that which is why I share with all of your stuff I mean if you look at my Instagram I don’t show a lot of people stuff throughout my associate about over a hundred guests but if something hits me a residence to meet people I’m I feel like okay that’s that’s just not me hopefully help somebody else so I think we’re lucky in that respect but I also yes hi I’m fully transparent and I love your transparency that their days are hard and I want to say here is safe with all the stuff on landing in the last seventeen months I have days where I’m just like I mean according to funk and it’s so difficult to get out of it but what I want to do is obvious he declined to myself and let people know that that’s normal that’s not you have been a mentor it would as for example that’s just part of life lies motivation is just add one good job at is no no blind sided absolutely this in everyday life is actually is after it’s just about re framing so you’ve definitely dealt with I have a lot of adversity and the some of the stuff we haven’t been able to touch on in the show in this precise moment then from being not rob on to say where you want to die I’d almost leave everything behind I’m feeling like you need to because it was not about right now in this particular moment what’s your biggest fear my biggest fear is always coming into that position again that position it off that last mile is fair enough they need some help in some crazies every scary situations yeah mark mopping is fit is is is going back to that because the first time I didn’t have an international it last month say that I’m trying to say this I March because it comes across negative but the thing is is if you hold negative forces thank you why not I said I says Muslim %HESITATION but I always felt at the time and sometimes now when I started I always felt that it would be what book it was may now day and then decide and I’m negative this I’m well I’m not being negative this is how hospital that time if I’m still alive I don’t want to get myself in a box so it will be what it kills me because I do have PJ stay at all if I get a chance I’ll touch on that because there’s an inside there are looking at different different individual size around it but is very diverse again I’d still talks and acts on they think it’s really important I was reading the book of Mormon this morning and yesterday and it was about focus and traction and destructions of stuff in life anyway he meant to something in relation to motivation as as humans in terms of while some days where more of it into the days were not and it was like a full face process on the third phase of it was called rumination on effectively why make me is my rumination is when you overthink something for example people with insomnia they’ll say it better though don’t get worried about not sleeping they’re worried about the things they need to do tomorrow and what happens you pay these negative thoughts over and over and over again absolutely I’m the post of rumination is sold but so you said something that obviously you’re too scared to feel low I would just encourage people I know I know you second this sentiment because you’ve spoken about on your post is that it’s alright to feel low because I think we should always explore our emotions we should never try to be positive all the time because that’s never gonna happen any motions that you got first because it teaches so much but it’s not not for an instant rumination cycle should record it where you’re consistently seeing Bob Dole so you’re consistently telling yourself out though so I guess that kind of cigarettes but declined this again is already so things that you do with that tonight again it’s just a ticket back to basics with it is everything that everything all done now design is actually only recently about his car the basics of this strip everything back like our land from it sorry when when those kind of things happen I know you’re not for a my head is a negative for this is how I now understand emotions prepares you for the future J. R. keeps trying to say that my head is like well if I’m scared of that happening again there’s a way I could not stop it Boston card with it and the strike why is it doing that it was prepared me for the future every single time I go through that is prepared me for the future that’s how I see it as one of my biggest gripe against but already just about I just learned that is understandable you can put yourself in a situation right I’m not saying this is part of his past example I took about four steps the resilience and I would not change past examples where I eat you may impact closely associate John that’s that’s one of my biggest things with it it’s just understand that not all of it yeah I loved your explanation of that so I do a similar thing with investee so when I’m going through something not I don’t like that makes me feel uncomfortable or you know shit hits the final cornet I always say this is preparing me for a bad me tomorrow I’m gonna let something happen I’m gonna be stronger from the experience okay SO two questions I’m sorry some want to touch on the PTSD because I think that’s very very important just before we jump into that four steps of resilience could you just very quickly how the list please %HESITATION I love this neighborhood lost almost by the by this was on a workshop and I had a panic attack the biggest cost less I try not yeah that was awesome I was in a band and I had a panic attack how is Oscar so if you’re committed to not only enhance your mental health but also your physical well being too then you need to check out our new sponsors help fix out providing you the best superfoods leads on the market in the non GMO vegan gluten free and of course %HESITATION got it for me as they bring you superfoods like no others you have seen on the market they also don’t just stop there as a provide you free consistent information to educate and empower you on your overall health and well being journey so don’t just stop at the end of a find your voice episode get yourself some excel blades and put the odds in your favor what’s it goes live there will also be a unique discount for anyone who comes from the far edge of voice podcast as you guys are not part of my family I not only want to see you thrive even though so check out the links in the description below to get notified as soon as they go live but to the episode yes %HESITATION statues Indians S. wine is is shock and I are you are you chasing a little control one of them is you put yourself into it and I took about furniture is one of them is quite interesting because that language on don’t talk about the on sentences shock then the next one is in jul you got to enjoy hard shit enjoy it you just have to come from why you should always pay info is always physical is not always made through time but you got to do it and then it stops you can run the biggest possible because they go very versatile with that you find type mechanism and I think it is reliable and it’s Friday the most important part you should always been strong you should always strive to five I’m trying to work that so I mean it shows he’s not walking around buzzing buzzing you had your phone I’m not going this is amazing if you analyze and what you’ve got and it sounds as if you don’t get in a survival situation is you you guys thought I think shock and I’m stuck on a desert island unlocked is going to happen temperature to my suggestion and then you guys will enjoy local I. Juggalos idle classical from all over the same shop while these things and I see sounds oldies and then you got introduction you might fire you urogen pharma and in five minutes you realize that you you’ve got stocks are you guys in regards you can get the stage five and that’s why that’s why I talk about people and that’s my understanding of resilience I’ve taken from books and I’ll take some form we we we’ve got so much content at the palm of our hands and that’s what I’ve kind of got a phone try to simplify it again make it basic I love it I love the basic element and I always try to do basic stuff myself so some of my best post for example on social media %HESITATION stuffed on thinking not to be like two minutes to write because it was so basic where is I’m spending thirty four and I was making a video and I got like three people watching him take it I should just in the basic stuff but again it’s not thing that people are always looking for something a little bit more complicated if we distribute Bakar say about some of the old one it would be so much easier so moving backwards and to the PTSD because I think this is an important topic and it’s something I do want to discuss on this episode could you give us your perspective on that please yeah this this is a new perspective on try and then I watched a documentary about transactions it is a site possible while I think I will do that too but anyway I’m not trying to S. I’m not going to just another psychologist on the desktop so god made a clear however you look at page yesterday as much in a road traffic accident watching someone die are seen some crazy stuff I Afghanistan on and being shocked I’m assessing the shot by the end of not only the strings and that that’s what you’re saying however I there’s another side to it as well Morrow Morrow page yesterday so actually what it is is different emotions and is looking back out engine I well my why did was flat also these people are so people dead us oldies sayings in a national model and not stats pages these random things well I’m start to realize bottom started okay transaction based users that will people treat doctors treat aids yes did he when shop like you’ve been shot you been trauma and is very different to how you treat some with moral lot with moral traumatic stress disorder however that now may I start to realize thinking okay %HESITATION I have an element of that the shop side by any means but I see I do have a moral the moral side of a hundred percent and they always try to why why do I keep refinancings are saying what is actually I’m sorry I didn’t quite model I can’t help but not agreeing with some of the things also and deadlock on the issue in the bay I’ll try and refresh but I think right now survival so that’s kind of how I’m starting to now you have J. and and I understand it more and its damage start to develop an estimate my biggest role model was coming out the army I didn’t watch anybody die I didn’t see any people Asian sorry nation your name’s a sidebar it was the shock of being institutionalized told what to do what to say when somebody walks away every single evening fasting for the morning the civilian straight outside my house to civilians I was very much respect civilians caught in the army is not going to must be so hard yeah it’s tosses physically topics many top I not so yes I will okay the most sides in the trauma side of it like it’s that’s how I mean can I and there’s a lot of stuff coming to light about it that’s a very interesting perspective and I just say the I. Mr Lee noted because I think this will start to change and I think it will just be every time you leave the army’s PTSD because also I was though if you’ve left the army or you said something horrific the shock factor is PTSD so I welcome any new studies I’m always I’m one of those people I wanna be better every day so I thought the peaches of the for the best part of ten years of somebody says that’s completely wrong I’m happy to be proved wrong because I think the most important message for yourself or myself is we give the listeners and people out there the best possible resources a waste over to become better people under the same not definitely that day some men and that some women out there in the armed forces got stuff the hot couldn’t imagine why how I couldn’t imagine not the six steps odds walks in and I’m not just talking about modern history I’m too okay dot com six goes back is in his decades listen David Denham was some serious trauma serious trauma and crazy and then there’s not keeps talking about the British Army dot people millions of people not know any armed forces are by yourself in that position but there’s people out there that I was going through %HESITATION you well you classified hello yeah I have yeah absolutely it’s one of my I show gratitude practices don’t try to do most days is when I get the pleasure of speaking to somebody like yourself for one of my guests I sometimes sit there and I think my god this person is so courageous so has so much more strength than I can comprehend the I see myself as a resilient person I’ve been through said parts of life when I had some B. people stories that my heart just like not so nope even your own story out of it you give yourself enough credit there is still a lot to it obviously we caught digested this one episode that you’ve been through is also I have four admiration and it’s not that quote we say you should never judge somebody until you’ve walked in their shoes I live by that not I mean I speak to someone I could see you in the road Rokos even the gym adjusting yeah that guy loves to work out but you don’t you don’t peel the onion lays back I really look into that because I had a hard life so I loved I loved what perspective and everything on that but just because of the show because you’re gonna get me rumbling or day we’re gonna have to segue ever so slightly mate so I want to put you through well I called the phone part of the show so this is going to be us thinking about depressive or mental health so of stuff this is about getting to know you so when the list is to get to know some of the things that you enjoy it just as a person so for the next sixty seconds I’ve got some questions on my phone here I just want one word answers a one sentence only me you ready what is your favorite hobby I’m trying the biggest mistake you made last year in fact actually well responded to a client once your favorite motivational speaker Simon is not motivational speaker as soft if you had an extra hour a day how would you spend it with my daughter I looked up the best lesson anyone has ever taught you okay okay if you can get the list this to do one thing at the end of this episode what would it be if you could abolish one thing in the world what would that be the white man what is the white we call mental health okay asked today what is your favorite book %HESITATION I’ll buy books online and it would be Simon C. N. A. X. and finding your why the ability to read minds or predict the future great minds I don’t know who is coming who is your biggest role model they my patterns eleven dot nine seven love the hopefully they listen to this what would you like to be remembered for them they need to be able to talk I finally met what song best describes your life you can see original I love the I love that but also it does benefit those benefit okay not does bring us to the end of the phone pod that show so just two more questions if I may so the next one is about reflection so you’ve obviously been through a lot and you’ve learned a lot and you self taught yourself in terms of residents and just self help mechanisms knowing everything that you know now with all your knowledge and %HESITATION deal with them if you could go back to a young lady who is maybe a bit more in certain I’m whisper something in these areas what would you say you all you’ve always got a choice why is that that would be a hundred percent there yeah you always have a choice yeah %HESITATION I always end up in the one you want show less every day but you have always got a choice yeah very powerful I am finally then the last question I ask every single one of my guess is if there’s a book I need a hundred fifty S. time silenced us to save us I’m only this book exists and this book is about you it’s about your life is about all of the amazing things that you’ve achieved in order the amazing people that you manage to help along the way firstly what with the title of the book be exactly what with the somebody at the back tell us about you my only regret in life was not all so can we say that hi %HESITATION their balance and in seven of eight oh baby it descended spare and should be in the series of events that teaches you skills taught me skills docking TGA I’m not a bad mood should show it back to them and then change your values to your actual age all of my days mass is it kind of kind scientists say go in there some too hard on myself that would be what we talk about mental health we should be being inclined to show it yeah it’s a joke when people look at a satellite it would pay it’s gonna be the bomb saying because I’m still learning today at yeah as your lock assess the ground survey and just before I close the showing gave the audience a chance to obviously connect with you because like I said earlier %HESITATION I advocate for your content I’m an advocate for everything that you’re trying to do in the road as well I think my story kind of I said did you with what you’re trying to do is awesome always forty supportive of that is there any last thoughts that you want to leave anyone listening to this episode with yeah I think I would be your biggest birthday coming into this kind of the the relation to the contest find out what what’s the A. I understand that mental health mental illnesses died last god hi Sharon is on fortunately go outside a hardship how many you need to understand where you are while trying to land where you are what time is it shock are you in shock what’s going on are you driving through enjoyable yeah are you a doctor all all you all you Streisand and understand where you’re at and the emotions that links to it because that will let alone come back and it will help you I’m not only sure way out and they lost last but not least for it is that we always talk about Steve Marcus did come out and and and the stigma around men’s and mental health and and you should talk and I’m we should talk more I I try to get out I was again a topic by state law we saw you stick mile inside it in my opinion is not around I should I walk down the street and I ran a glass eye and are you gonna do this you got this you’re gonna hear this judicial wait not not had it had the opposite people got a jays right your strong right you’ll you’ll this show that I am asking you to do this in the firefighting boxing body builder you are wow I would lose it if you have right now your seat and passenger last night we control the state might not hate we’ve created it personally and that’s what I think is not not allowed us it is inside and the only way that we will sure stick mock me again passing days understanding why we’ve put that statement into our nets I love the mate dot hi this is gold just in itself because as you say the I’m thinking I just I resonate so much more with that because that person that we thinking across the road he’s gonna maybe just in the wrong ways actually probably more compassionate than you could ever imagine for example just us to not complete strangers on a mission not to try and support each other moving forward I’m just very quickly allowed to this because I said on the previous podcast is hi Craig ball stick man my head not my voice what am I I’m not if I start a podcast because of my accent being from the black country there will have to knock said people are gonna be like I don’t understand what he’s saying but actually it’s the message and the sincerity of not just my wits but the people I get on on the show that’s only ever been priced and I’ve not had anyone actually comment on my accent as an example and it’s funny because we have to look at like you just said that why we are thinking %HESITATION crave the stigmas of my was actually from university somebody from blood that say you’re going to be really really quickly I’m not one thing literally stuck in my head it almost kind of disabled me from start my podcast I would probably start a podcast three years earlier and I’m proud of myself overcoming not nothing for anyone but there is your accent or the way you feel about yourself or your body or your thoughts or anything do what you just said that because I think I saw pop or trying to understand why we put those things in my head I recognize it’s probably just in our heads off it does go dismay okay sure thank you thank you what is the best place than that people can reach out to you I get more words of wisdom from yourself on your good days of course I mean today said to dominate either step into the grounds mental health and training and employment is right yeah and there is a new element condition and I’m I’m happy to talk to people I’m a doctor I want to give advice because I’m not in position say however I will share experiences and what what’s the name of it is very different it sounds horrible but at times a lot of different dining guide you Vijay March because its cost okay I’ll have to learn that a model bears roster question star one accomplished accomplished always dance watch your question or even Joel J. that’s okay and because you are no extra Moscow before you can help others I’m just I’m not enough from people close by to mail a really strong looks for that what someone really das bike about idea they kept telling me to go do this you got to do this they watched me doctor and I’m sorry able to do it but yeah I know I am expedition and is tried and true trade and I’ll be watching I’m able to qualify J. age I am and I am not not my personal Facebook last March that’s my safe place I’m from a family that’s from my friends is in fact the people I’ve done not I love that make and again on the same journey as you go if you find your voice and speaking to people you have to have those what we would normally consider selfish elements of your software like this is actually me and this is my family time with this is why personal time in order to be selfless so I don’t think anyone locate are you not responding whatever see you as a selfish person because your whole purpose in everything you do on a daily basis it’s a tried helping him but people are so but not I thank you it’s been a pleasure second time around like I said to you before I have a lot of time if you by the way that you do it I wish you have much much better days obviously moving forward I know that every day is about as it is for every single precipitous into this as well I thank you for the time today number C. four of us a hold thank you so much for listening thanks very much right and remember this podcast is absolutely free so all we ask in return is for you to share this with a friend and drop us a five star review over on iTunes have an awesome day