Living & Learning from the Anxiety we experience with Ruben Alvarez #101
Growing up in a single parent home, with no bedroom to call his own, Ruben intrinsic desire was to do more and become more. Through learning & going on his own journey of finding his voice, Ruben has become self aware enough to know what he needs to do. In addition he knows what he wants too. This is a fascinating story of a guy who has never let his struggles, or anxieties define him or his potential. Eager to grow through what he is going through he continues to strive to ensure he leaves it all out there and reaches the success he has so clear in his mind.
It was my pleasure getting to know Ruben on this more so as I was encouraged by his willingness to not sell himself, or share this narrative that he had it all figured out. He is just like any of us, the listeners, the guests, myself who are just learning as we go along the journey. It is this authenticity that warms me towards me and encourages you all to follow him on his journey.
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[04:00] Why Ruben does what he does?
[16:50] Rubens vulnerability during lockdown
[22:10] The things we lack, we often want more
[27:10] Rubens biggest fear
[35:00] Rubens message to listeners and his younger self
Episode on forgiveness:
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and I think that might some people might might see that in in their own goals and ambitions right they might see that something that they lack of the it is something that they want now it was funny when I when I was growing up the thing that I lacked was I never had a root welcome to an episode of find your voice a movement led by yours truly Aren Deu a guy who was overcome crippling anxiety adversity and difficulty like so many of you in life whose main goal now is to help you combat your excuses take control of your life write your own story and most importantly find your voice so now without further ado I welcome the host of the show himself Mr Aren Deu what’s going on people thank you for tuning in to another episode of find your voice my name is iron and as always I am the host of the show so we have done it you’ve probably had the hundredth episode by now and I thank every single one of you for the voice knows for the emails for the amazing what’s up and Instagram messages telling me how you find it useful for me given a piece of my life and shared a bit about my vulnerabilities I gave up paid with the idea of how we would do the you tube video how would do the automation and Howard actually present the episode to you and I’m thankful that the message hit home I didn’t want to be seen as a victim I don’t want it to be a pity party in fact I wanted it to be something uplifting and something empowering to make sure that these lessons that we share on these episodes aren’t lost and speaking of lessons you’re about to hear a fantastic episode from a friend of mine Rubin of R. as he is not only a father he’s a business owner he’s also a podcaster as well he shares the story and one of the things I would say about a story especially when you see him on Instagram because he has a fantastic account you can almost start to believe that this guy is almost like the finished article in this episode we kind of delved deep every pill box some of those layers of the onion should be say using that as a metaphor of Rubin’s life and Ruben is not somebody who is shy to sherry’s vulnerabilities in fact he openly expresses everything that he’s going through in the most transparent way which I think in fact I believe is definitely the most reliable way for myself and you guys the listeners so I’m really interested to get this episode going is gonna inspire you he’s gonna motivate you but he’s also going to make you question why you do what you do they’ve heard me say that millions of times across these episodes but it’s really interesting to see somebody who recognizes that he called to everything in life but he can do the things that he wants to do so without further ado let’s get the steps out on the way I would do my friend I’m doing great man and I appreciate you for one like inviting and also by Catholic I mean the fact that it has do with anxiety depression all these things are really like things that people need to be more aware of it now that it affects everybody and they’re not alone in this fight well thank you for coming on as well it’s always great to have people on the show that has a story to tell because I always believe that every single one of us have a story but it’s always good to get a different perspective as well because your life is completely different to mine yet we both suffered with similar things so it’s always good to get as many different versions of anxiety for example so that somebody listening and hopefully gain not inspiration the hope that day life can be better as well so I talked to a few in a row this time not you think he’s the one that you sent over which is really interesting is your stories about overcoming anxiety facing your demons and striving for more because you never had it and I absolutely love everything about that because if you listen to the intro of the show it’s about combining your excuses overcoming your obstacles is literally dot so you are at the minute hyping you up the path it gets on your voice so I’m really excited to see him more from yourself so if you wouldn’t mind at this stage I’m always eager to understand why we do what we do and the reason for that is because of the choices along the way and maybe life is shaped us in a certain way so tell us where you are now but we also want to hear about your story is what I want people to know who the real reason is why are you doing the things that you do today maybe some key moments in your life over to you my friend yeah no so where I’m at right now is %HESITATION I started my my first official business right the first business that I’m not just getting out of my house where I pocket the money all cash right it’s a marketing agency %HESITATION I I got very very fortunate that my wife is a graphic designer that I’ve been doing telemarketing for awhile now the combined that we brought in a few people that also no graphic design there are very very motivated to put out their best work right because local marketing it is showing people in the past right so you can’t have a marketing company where people think it’s good enough yeah right so I’ve been really really blessed do that from that company stand a %HESITATION a contact as well right what you’re in for the kill our the name of the company’s marketing hundred and all that would be great name or hashtag or a hunting companies %HESITATION we did in particular that became its own separate grand which you’re really excited about %HESITATION I still have my main item five job I’m working on separate projects maybe another podcast we’re doing like merchandising we’re doing a lot of really really happy about but where I started was it actually started as a kid without a dad and the dad my dad like we can get along alright but he was never really interested as a child when I was a child either route or a straight out or it came out like one every month even though you spoke every week right and your promise you I’m going to show up and %HESITATION we live in a mobile home park growing up right %HESITATION I never thought that that was the light that we should have right and a lot of where I’m at right now came from frustration right and I think that when people run across frustration they see them as things that hold them back they think that that’s like a road block like stop this is where you’re at you stay here right and the reality is there more men as like speed you have to slow down but it doesn’t mean that you have to stop rate it just means that you have to overcome that and like now when I really look at eight restorations are will push me forward when I’m so frustrated beyond the weight that I say screw this I’m gonna just get hot like I’m I’m so tired of being here right like if I’m here and I can go over I got to go this way I got to go that way but I’m just not going to stop my frustration I love the and this is literally the premise of the show as well because what you affected the second that is the difference between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset so when we have these frustrations in life I you why have I been dealt these cards for example which you know I don’t wish that on anyone you have to grow up obviously single parent family not having the relationship that maybe you wanted but all we can do in life is to play with the cards that were dealt with now we have two choices from there so you can either make excuses for the rest of your life or we can do what you’ve done which I think is fantastic is that younger users to push me it might slow me down like a speed bump for example but some users frustrations because not only do I finally deserve mobile I deserve more as well so that’s quite inspiring and I always like the kind of like underdog story and not to make allies exactly the same I have a similar background in terms of you get fed up with seeing your mom wake and all yeah I was a week and you think this call be right for the rest of her life and you almost want to call a spade is like an internal motivation to fight which is what keeps us doing what we’re doing so I see your very very active in everything that you’re doing now I’m assuming you’ll you’ll let you working around the clock now the once a day to day like them for yourself not and how is the anxiety with it as well because I wanna I wanna understand that as well because it is I can cripple people but knowing you already in this very short amount of time any frustrations or something you just see as something that you have to overcome yeah that’s that’s the thing is that like every single day and we do it yourself the funny thing is solved it nobody’s nobody’s saying Hey you got it and I am a working %HESITATION I wake up at five every morning I was thinking about four thirty and destroying it like and how to pull it back a week about five I go to bed and and %HESITATION I think my breaks in between but I can work from five to ten times right but just like little things in between because there will be some people that say Hey can we work on days when I get out of work in there in Oklahoma well my guy yesterday and he called me at six thirty and I went to university working in the the only time we have you know but I was the one that I reached him two months ago at the project so that the day can be hectic %HESITATION the anxiety that comes with it the stress right like that residentially turned into anxiety if you don’t know how to accelerate it the thing that you have to see like okay well I put myself in that situation right I am stressed out about it how am I going to get on if I’m so over work and the money’s not there then I should be this over work and if the money is there than I should hire somebody to help me so that I’m not over work right and that’s that’s the thing is that like there are %HESITATION there are answers to every problem and if there’s no answer you have to let it go so it it’s just constant battle of control if you can control your control we can control and if you can’t control that’s the part where it’s hard because your control and you can’t control you gotta give it up at some point right and and if there’s nothing you can do it’s almost like you have to learn how to meditate right yep we’re not meant anything like this is a this is not me anymore this is something that I have and I just like the %HESITATION and that’s difficult I mean I I can’t say like %HESITATION a member I’m thank you know and I don’t want people to think that like I’m perfect I need and I like I like it like you have something going on people like my own ideas like all your on the go but I I take time and I stop and I play video games every so often when I’m stressed I have my my released you know %HESITATION but the thing is that like a constant constant stress on IT that comes with everything but it’s learning from the ways that you were when you were growing up that things I are you happy or even depression you know I was depressed I will let you quit learning from all the things like why was it that you were happy why would I why would I change it and let you overcome them the next and the yeah absolutely I think I’m just jumping on your last point that some of us a lot of the habits and the way that we are today is because of the things that happened to us as a kid if that makes sense so for example I became anxious only around tall with eighteen years old prior to that was the most confident kid at school I was playing football I was in every sports team I was literally like anything that involved being around people that was me but then for the next twenty years I’m always have complete introvert and I was really anxious and I was like what she happened and saw you recently in the last six six months or so I’ve kind of delve back into my life and I recognize there’s been certain moments in certain parts of my life that have affected me and change me and then it’s about understanding that and kind of healing that process if that makes sense yeah well I’m I love two things that you said that the first one was we do to ourselves and it’s crazy because we go on this journey where I had the most chilling job it was so easy to do I used to be my my eyes for a few hours I sent a few emails on the project manager basically for a family learned and I was earning a good salary and after about I was like this gonna be more to life and then I jumped into this field where I’m working seven days a week a week in sixteen seventeen I was on run died a bad time I need a light when I reflect on not I’m not into the same money as well why would do this I almost did it to myself and I’m increasing the anxiety but it’s strange because I think it also boils down to you I Renee internal motivation which is what we said at the start of the show which is that frustration of hold on a second I actually still want more from life and that and that’s what I love about this story and then also you mentioned the meditation pod which I think is really really important lesson is listening is that all we can do is control the control doubles and that’s like a mantra I live by it because winds light you can just jump out at me like any time I don’t know when I’m gonna get it sometime so in that moment I have this much I’ll let you have it written around or the house and it’s like control the controllable is aren’t enough to calm myself down and breathing not meditation expert the wife tries to maybe do a call and do it but that’s a brilliant to soap thank you for sharing that and I’m sure not like you said it’s one of those things we just have to manage I’m just going to deal with on a day to day basis is there anything else that you’d recommend to maybe somebody who’s got that frustration that you got a fire in the belly but then things like frustration things lines I. E. stopping them in the moment what else could you recommend so there there’s one thing that I kind of want to brush up on and it goes with your question right there’s there’s one thing that happened to me recently that kind of started this whole journey and that’s that I am I am a corporate job right I I was making good money %HESITATION the owner of the company he was a big stressor to like you in a certain type of man he’s great thank you from all over the country right in the middle east and he had this he had this attitude of money is everything sales month to month like no long term thank you right just like what’s in front of me so every month it would be like oh you know what are we doing this what are we doing what we with him I learned that like with with people people can bring anxiety you’re right and you have to learn that that’s on them that’s not on you there if they’re screaming at you that they’re doing anything like that happen and you let them scream that shouldn’t affect the way that you feel but the the reason I bring him up with nothing like that but the the real cause of anxiety we talk about it all right when you’re not able to well I was working towards becoming his number two which I was really there are his number one right at the right hand man yeah and I got to that point and I was thinking you know five ten years from now you know one retired and one only somebody in place you never want to come to the office anymore that’s gonna be me and I will be making you know over a hundred a hundred fifty K. right and that’s gonna be a great job and what ended up happening in April last year if he sold the company so all the control that I had was taken and the sales manager position that I have right now I am a %HESITATION territory manager right so I I just went straight down so when you talk about control when you talk about like you know why do we want more it’s because deep down I think people realize that there’s no control and having a job having something that’s not there right and we we take that risk and having come like that that the more comfortable we are the more that deep down we know like we’re risking everything right now so it’s not just like the people with the disco in nineteen thing right like everybody that had a nice job that’s considered nonessential all this out in everything they could have been there for a long time but if they got laid off if they can’t work for two months thank you you bad like we did so when when you talk about like the the how do you deal with anxiety how you you know like really like deal with them on another level to where you can start having more control you have to start seeing all the things that are around you that you’re choosing not to control yeah before they’re forced upon you right so somebody can say like I don’t have a lot of stuff right now I have all these anxieties because the work because of all the things that what control were you giving up thank you absolutely right right and start taking back more of what you are able to do because you have you have that long you want to be able to control more that’s why I think the United as you’re there and you’re like things are happening to me right and instead of me making sure that they don’t or that they do happen you’re just getting it on every angle of you being able to kind of direct I love that I think I said that’s that’s a brilliant analogy that you know he was saying that I was having to be around so I depress the trading I bought a used two for about nine ten years and I’m always preaching to people to look after the house I’m one of the fescue memes that were kicking off after a covert was everyone was moaning that they gonna get five going to just keep E. in a point away and this is why I’ve always said life the few things I can control because when insight comes is difficult for me to really get a grasp of my life but there’s a few things I could control control operate tomorrow night I can control my heart away cat I can control the material that I listen to I E. audio books %HESITATION people’s opinions though the news for example so I spent my last four five years really kind of monitoring what comes in and if if I feel like it’s coming in and it’s not gonna save me is going through one ear and out the other and so now I’m in a position where everyone’s insight has gone up around me here in the U. K. everyone stressing because we can’t control what we wanted to control what we were previously controlling but somebody like myself I’m already controlling the most important assets and that’s my mind and that’s my health and I think that’s where light I’m trying to take this podcast as well in terms of this is an opportunity for everyone nine now it breaks my heart that people out there are struggling to put their lives on the line of people losing their lives but for all of us who are fortunate enough to still have ever not long this is an opportunity now to start like you were saying controlling the things you can control and then for the other stuff recognizing there’s even an on site like you said or if there’s not an onsite medical I think that’s just the way you said that so how are you staying saying that in the in this isolation paid are you still not working out and doing things that I was off yes so %HESITATION before I tell you how good I’m doing I got this Friday yes NO two Fridays ago I I kinda had like a little break down grey and I was just kind of like I’m tired of being in here and like it because I don’t I I don’t really like going out to begin with right right a I was like back then I can go out with that you want to yeah the choice to take in from the right but after after again I just I I let it go and I said you know what your day is gone I’m gonna let him be god that my choice at that point right and I’m not gonna do anything I’m gonna watch TV and eat whatever I want that done and that’s how I got through that day but every other day %HESITATION I just I’m I’m I like work right so I’m choosing to stay busy and that’s how I kind of stay sane I am still you know like working out whenever I do I go out with them I have that right so we I play with him whenever that allow like got the mid day like during my lunch we go out for a walk we’re doing a lot of the normal that we can do we we go to the store maybe once a week if you know we can %HESITATION because I don’t like you know exposing them but like the food and and all that stuff like I used to go by myself as far as like they change it really like I already mentioned you you have certain choices that you still can make and it’s just empowering yourself do those that you’re able to kind of stay like even though I’m not able to go out anywhere right I feel trapped you still can go out and wave at your neighbors right like I think that you may interact kind of what we’re saying all of the crap that like but when you see your neighbors and you know that life is still going on that it’s a very normal it has not affected much I mean I saw it like right you will delete they went crazy to the point where everybody having like a party on their balconies there’s not any thought that you mean interaction really keeps going like we we we long or even though people are introverts everything everybody longs for the interaction that absolutely I M. I was listening to a podcast yet think it was on in part by Tom Brady it’s one of my favorite podcast and then there was somebody on there and he was talking about the science behind happiness and I think every single bases go in life is to you obviously achieve as much happiness as they possibly can and the number one determining factor for that was relationships human interaction and recognizing that even as an introvert like you said that you still need those relationships it’s the relationships I have the close ones rocking court on someone whether it’s my wife my brother my best friends that’s what keeps me going that’s what he’s me persevering on those days so that’s really really interesting and I just wanna ask you something awesome to segue a little bit into a bit more of an animal if side if I may and by all means say you don’t speak about the subsidy fine that’s that’s entirely your choice you can control that but I am I want to ask you because you just mentioned that you’ve got a son and you spend a lot of time with your son and this is just something maybe a little bit more passive to myself because there’s many people that listen to this you may not have a relationship with their own parents for example now you’ve got an opportunity to be a father and you you previously mentioned obviously your relationship initially was a great with your father how have you taken that experience and turned it into your relationship with your son not because the reason I ask this is I used to be a social worker and sometimes I used to see the cycle was never broken for example if it’s bad parenting doe continued about parenting where sometimes you need that one patient actually that’s bad parenting but I’m gonna stop that and to do the complete opposite so putting you on the spot here obviously I’m hoping you know about I’m pretty sure you’re not about terrible I’m just interested in in knowing about that if you wouldn’t mind yeah %HESITATION I I can’t pinpoint it anything beyond it %HESITATION I think my mom was a very very great mother %HESITATION she was there for us he actually was a nanny right she loves kids %HESITATION but it was it was again it was just the frustration of seeing that I didn’t have a father that I wanted a father right that I had somebody that was very loving to me so that I wonder what it would be like to have you know two people complete family %HESITATION and then just seeing I I think I was very drawn to the idea of a family like early on so now with with my son %HESITATION so the main reason that I think that I’ll never blow up like massively it because I at some point it my emotions gray like that I I’m the one that’s controlling them at some point in the day I go I need to spend time I love that and I have another one on the way actually our congratulations thank you yeah %HESITATION but it it it that brought like I feel this draw right and I go like I haven’t seen him enough I am and I am with and that I know that when you’re trying to build something massive they say you know that entrepreneur goes to sleep and or doesn’t go to sleep and blah blah and I go you know I want to go to sleep because if not I’m gonna be really really emotional negatively in the next day and I’m not gonna be there for so I know like %HESITATION back now maybe once you get older like and I don’t have to spend as much time with them maybe then I’ll have like more free time for the next eighteen years I’m not gonna blow up to that level that a lot of the big time speakers are a like I I’m not gonna go into these big words are you I’m a year right where I’m gonna be gone most of the time %HESITATION from my house because I I I need that I crave it you know so %HESITATION I don’t know it was it was just a lack right a lack of something that I always wanted and I think that might some people might might see that in in their own goals and ambitions right so they might see that something that they lack of the it is something that they want now right %HESITATION it was funny when I when I was growing up the thing that I lacked was I never had a route and eventually they turn how mobile argued you are the all you want at your house right they turned half the living room in my room and I I like it but at the same time I I think there’s two sides to the story they’re the people that go %HESITATION I got my own room and they’re happy and everything right I said it said that I had to get my own room out of the living and it wasn’t even negative way but I was like why can’t we be a normal family that I just have a normal room like so it was it was all these things are just lack random like I’m never gonna put my family in situation so after a big driving factor like those those things that just kind of stick with you and and that like never really leave you now absolutely I love doctor resonate with that as well and I think again there’s nothing wrong with if somebody wants the for example become of that person who blows it for example so you mentioned Tom Bilyeu alia and him and his wife have decided not to have kids because he knows he’s gonna be so consumed with the wake and his life purpose of doing what he’s doing and as much as I love everything they stand for and I love the entrepreneur was signed and the ethics and the values I’m on the same no it’s just off I haven’t got kids yet but hopefully when I do you have kids I just want to spend as much time with my kids as possible you know I mean I thought me’s never going on Instagram we’re never doing you should only do one podcast we that’s absolutely fine I mean I love the podcast it’s my passion project I get to help and hopefully inspire people but that’s going to be my world that’s going to be my life and I’m happy with that and I think it comes down to self awareness thing your self aware enough to recognize actually this is what’s going to make me happy and I think sometimes many of us go through life and this is one of the premises behind find your voices we’re living a life based on what parents or teachers tell us what to do and I was trying to call these people the your is the most important point of my podcast name is find your voice we need to find what makes us happy I spent my life get degrees diplomas I went to doctor grammar school I was I was academically quite clever so I was just doing stuff on my parents they were not really happy really proud parents by was that this is a well I’ve always wanted to do I mean my dream is to be a boxer as a kid and then it was to be more creative with my way I can it’s only not ally I’m thirty three years old and I’m able to be a bit more crave with my videos of my stuff and I don’t really care if I get views or anything is is me and is my total happiness if that makes sense so I love that you say that I’m not and I’m glad the obviously you’re in a much better place in terms of from the past traumas that you’re not really working towards just making a happy home for yourself so that that’s really inspiring and and I love that message about you yeah if there’s anybody who who like right now the in thing you know like I don’t think like there was a lot of anxiety that came with that right there is a lot of like unknowns and variables and things like that %HESITATION I would say just start with one thing they you know right yeah and that’s really really in anything but I think I think business is like a bunch of people want to have their own brand they want to have their own thing girl that’s right which like some way that you can make more money monetary gain that’s that’s a big stress reliever right when you need a lot of stress %HESITATION but you start with one thing you start with one thing that you know and and if you don’t know how to do it and hopefully you save a little bit of money if somebody that does not right it doesn’t have to be big like crippling thing that you just can never start once once I started doing just one thing at a time it the ball just are kind of rolling in this momentum and that’s kind of where I’m at right now with the business yeah %HESITATION my job I can I can switch you may want all yeah it is it started %HESITATION if you start going one by one the the marketing company customer by customer it one by one you don’t get it I mean eventually maybe I would have like an influx of white or yeah one straight but when your star knocked it one by one ended each one one one one one one and then eventually just for you know you have forty fifty eight and that’s the way it goes I love the I love that you remind me of myself that you do a podcast in one of a sudden you like yeah I’ll do another podcast which is after all I’ve done so start a separate men’s health polite malice to sides and stuff and just try to help people with that and then when I took it on it seems that the gray side of the border not to you love it but it’s like another job because of the added tailored the content and then I’m sweet mother friends of that what we should do our part because I’m not yeah we should but I know what it’s like by the same time wanna say yes to everything but again it comes down to managing my levels and making sure that kind of control it because one thing I don’t want to do is do something with not a hundred percent a bowl of always been the kind of place an order nothing in terms of audio which I’m pretty sure you’re the same as well with that yeah absolutely I don’t want you but only like half or half after you’re not happy anymore yeah definitely some right now than in this time you seem to have your life figured out and when I say that I mean that respect for you that we will have our off days but most likely generally speaking the call to do the stuff that makes us happy are you finding a voice for example what’s your biggest fair in this moment right now %HESITATION that’s a difficult one %HESITATION so I I don’t know my my wife joke around that I’m a Virgo so that how I am you know I’m the same yeah I I’m I’m always I’m always worried about I’ll be in and you’re right so when not covert nineteen Hey I was worried about %HESITATION customers saying we can’t pay you %HESITATION advertising because there’s no point in doing it right so my fear at that time was not having enough customer so I when I try to find more what ended up happening is nobody canceled the now we have more customers so because of that I actually need to hire more help my biggest fear is actually always that company going on right because there’s been so much work there’s people that are actually depended on that on that money that’s coming in now that I have a fear that I have a responsibility towards those people I know that my family will always be taken care of I know that I can always find a job I know that I can find the customers or that marketing company but what I can control or things like that right the the Copa meeting people because of that we can’t do it anymore so there there is a fear behind it going under but then there’s like %HESITATION like I have I have confidence in myself that I can find more so it’s just internal struggle and never really leaves me right deciding that I don’t think that that all these other things %HESITATION you know there not being enough to there not being enough America I don’t know if anybody’s gonna resonate with what you know over here like that was our biggest at water right we got back we got by we we have an up everything %HESITATION I’ve been able to send out people thought they loved it right yeah as part of our year I’ve been I’ve been getting better about managing it it it it’s like you say like %HESITATION it seems like I have things figured out but there’s so many things that still are figured out it’s just where you’re at at that moment you have these millionaires that seem like they have their stuff figured out but the the levels of problems that they have that stresses the same to you bye our problem is just you having done that level problem yeah I don’t think there’s anyone in the world he doesn’t have parts of their life with a thinking oh my god I just need to get a handle on this and again it is just I think we just control the stuff in terms of our properties I mean I’ve seen million as for example the I’ve I’ve trained as a personal trainer on but when the training with me that the soul I shed get their business document and everything they’ve achieved on that front is not world class where is I focus on my body but my business level at that point was like the west of the west so again it’s just different areas of your life you just got to know where to put your energy into in terms of what’s important for you so absolutely I think we’re all figured out and this is one of the things I also sat on the show as well so it’s great that you’re so transparent and honest in all your answers because I don’t want people to see you as the finished article because perfection doesn’t exist in my opinion I’ve yet to interview somebody he’s perfect at the minute and I mean that with all due respect to order my guess because I appreciate and love you all but I just think you’re welcome what you would not know what you need to do in terms of even yourself for that then you can obviously live a more happy and fulfilled life yeah that that’s one of the other reasons that I feel back I might not get there as fast one of one of my favorite things I don’t know where this came up from but like I remember saying it and it was if you have to read my bio I’m not there yet I like that a lot that ended late because really what introduction if somebody’s introducing you like obvious you’re there right but you see these people that are like putting the Lamborghini’s out there and they’re sold last year that there %HESITATION you can video and then you say their name right like and I’m like any day but they’re like oh you know like it it’s your dad Daniel or something there and they’re like who’s that and it doesn’t matter how much you keep bragging about yourself so you know they don’t even know you right so so that that’s the thing is that like I’m I’m transparent and everything because I don’t believe I’ve got in there even as a million thank you if you never heard of me and I’m pretty much nothing you know what I mean so so there’s there’s a thing that I like they call them these are over the colon but the mariners in the billing as they call them like you broke and billionaires billionaires because the moment you attack their ego in the letter you’re gonna get sued and this and that and it’s like if you were transparent with everybody and somebody said Hey you know what like your bank and you’re just like Hey guys like on eBay I appreciate the fact that he’s looking at my video then they came with I’ll give any like that would make them look better than if that person like %HESITATION I called refers to bake and now they’re doing it he says oh true why I actually have a personal story about that but that’s a conversation for offline of this we don’t we don’t get ourselves in trouble place really interesting you said that and again I think there is a level of insecurity and why people feel the need to be so flashy I always try to look beneath that I’m one of the things I’m very conscious of doing especially for the show as well is I need to make sure that somebody comes on and they speak from the heart I don’t need somebody to call me on it telling me hi rich and successful and how perfect your life is because he doesn’t fit the show this somebody better shows that pays you should go to you because mode it’s a slightly different and we’re just regular people just trying to do bad by families Abbas also absolutely love the answer might at this point I’m gonna jump into the phone by the show so despite the show is just sixty to ninety seconds of random questions now I’ve got referred to me so one word or one sentence answers only are you ready yet okay let’s get going okay then what is your favorite hobby working I need say that what is your biggest mistake that you made last year hang a a business coach without first %HESITATION really looking into the background your proudest achievement to date my thought I love that who is your favorite motivational speaker Frank I don’t know who it takes an because back in when I was younger I would have these ideas but I would listen to much to other people and the key is just to get started like no doubt to start don’t worry about what other people say yes Sandra vice especially not listen to other people as well because that can just detail you will with the wrong information and it’s only when you start out such you when you start to lead so yes fantastic I’m not suddenly does bring us to the last question the last question I ask every single one of my guess is about legacy so if in a hundred fifty years time signs out to save you and me and all that exists is a book and this book is about you it’s about your life it’s about all the amazing accomplishments that you’ve achieved first of all want to know is what would the title of the book B. and secondly what with the summary at the back tell us about you you ask really hard questions need to think about %HESITATION take your time take your time the I always I always that I I thought anything that and %HESITATION try to describe yourself in three words based on where I live right and because of that %HESITATION I would kinda just because where I’m at right now maybe when I’m older and making your butt right now I wanted to be a professional young hustler so that’s what I would want to be %HESITATION and then have a roof like really like on on my younger years right because by the time I’m older I’m I’m gonna guess that I’m all right but %HESITATION I think that summary on the back I would want to say that I I strive to work as much as I could you know I put my head down I got to a level of success you were I could start helping enough people and then when I died I left my family with the fortune but donated half of the people in the I love that that’s like an intrinsic goal of yours to like give back is also not does sadly however he leave us to the end of the show one of the things I want to make sure now is that I haven’t missed something so is there any questions that you wish I may have asked you or is there anything that you want to leave the audience with before I give you a chance to tell us where they can find you know I I think that the question that you asked a really good as well as the final by %HESITATION the only thing that I want to say is you just really reiterate that you like every single person is in control of almost like ninety nine percent of everything that’s happening out there and even when you lose control you’re still in control of the feelings about how you feel about it right so so that the more that you feel that things are happening to you %HESITATION making them so that they’re happening for you because it right and if if you can realize that you can realize that everything that you do you are the one that’s controlling it I think you’ll be living a better life absolutely I think that is one of the most powerful things and I understand not having been on the journey read the books and stress myself out most of my life dot dot actually is so so true so I think if somebody’s listening just rewind those few seconds because I saw a point not to recognize we actually have control of everything including our motion is the way we react to situations and if we in that moment think we call control it this probably a feedback loop somewhere that we need to go back and look at why is that one thing is that why is it making us react in this particular way so thank you for sharing that and what is the best place that people can connect with you I know have you on Instagram but what other places along with your Instagram as well can people follow you Jenny so there’s a few places of my website which is WWW dot I am Ruben Alvarez dot com %HESITATION I have a YouTube channel which is in for the kill podcast we do either I’m stuck there too I do product reviews %HESITATION and then also my dignity and then my two instagrams are that I am Ruben Alvarez and then into the well fantastic I love the name in for the kill they used to be a song I think by the re which is which I really liked is awkward in for the kill I I’ve been combating for that top spot but I’m almost there I got I got my fingers crossed for you my friend so so at this point obviously thank you so much from the other side of the road taking time out of your day to come on to join the find your voice family I’m really passionate about the the people I bring on you guys make the show I called to say Hey I’m talking to Mike Rome because nobody wants to hear that all the time so thank you obviously for taking time out of your day and congratulations as well for the new one for you and your wife is off and of course for everyone else on hold thank you so much for listening and remember this podcast is absolutely free so all we ask in return is for you to share this with a friend and drop us a five star review over on iTunes have an awesome day