How to control your thoughts and emotions. This is a crucial topic because it is the best self care practice to improve your mental health.
Alexander Walker, is a clinical hypnotherapist who works with clients who have or are experiencing depression, bipolar, anxiety and stress. But he fell into this line of work due suffering depression himself, struggling with his own anger and realising he never quite fitted in. Eager to now help others, having dug himself out of his own hole, Alexander helps people on a daily basis. He kindly joined us on the show today, where he shared methods for reducing anxiety and overwhelm; managing anger management and more important recognising that our thoughts are not us. Our emotions are not us. We are not moments of our life, we are much more than that. This insightful perspective of looking at how we often criticise or judge ourselves, can increase our happiness almost instantly.
“You are NOT your Anger”Alexander Walker
It is for that reason, I encourage you all to listen to this episode, maybe even watch it on YouTube where it is not edited and has a few extra bits thrown in. It will teach you to manage your emotions and thoughts much better, which in turn will enhance your life, improve your happiness and help you find your voice.
Let me know your thoughts, and be sure to share this on social media and share it with anyone you feel could benefit from the wisdom Alexander shared.
Some Key Time stamps:
[04:30] Understanding my own Depression – Alexander
[09:00] Controlling your thoughts & bringing in a new experience
[14:00] Dealing & Understanding your Anger problems
[17:55] Why some people act in a “bad” way
[25:30] You are responsible for your world – The HO-OPON-OPONO Technique
[31:10] Acknowledge the small wins in your life + Your Journey Matters
I urge you all to follow his journey:
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Links to Alexander:
Website : https://www.alexanderwalkerch.com
If you found this episode useful, on How to control your thoughts and Emotions then give myself and Alexander a shout via our links.
and sometimes people confuse the absence of happiness or joy for negativity for depression or boredom and that’s not the case so just because you don’t have happiness in your face so you not laughing at the moment doesn’t mean as a negative that because it wasn’t as a neutral I need that neutral you find peace welcome to an episode of find your voice a movement led by yours truly Aren Deu a guy who was overcome crippling anxiety adversity and difficulty like so many of you in life whose main goal now is to help you combat your excuses take control of your life write your own story and most importantly find your voice so now without further ado I welcome the host of the show himself Mr Aren Deu what’s going on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice my name is are in and as always I am the host of the show so today I’m delighted to be able to bring to you Alexander Walker on to today’s episode of find your voice not exact dot she appeared on our neighboring podcast the black country blokes where he gave a lot of insight for knowledge and tips and tricks and just a little bit more into what he does as a field which I think is going to massively help you guys is this as well because he comes from an experience background he does clinical hypnotherapy counselling he works with people who have suffered with depression anxiety and so so much more but again I’m gonna let I exam explained that as we go through the show so face the before I begin I was and how you doing today I’m doing very well thank you thank god for going to be on today’s it’s a pleasure you’re very very welcome so as we briefly touched on prior to starting this episode I’m fascinated by trying to understand why people do what they do and I don’t just mean on a micro level also mean in terms of what the occupation is also I’m just mention some of the things that you do so if you wouldn’t mind Alexandra if you could just best you just tell us a little bit about yourself so that listeners can understand here we have on the show today we’re also how you got into doing the work that you’re doing today yeah that sounds fine so I’m originally from Brierley hill so I grew up in a sort of regular sort of working class background (Subscribe to the Find Your Voice Podcast by Aren Deu – How to control your thoughts and Emotions) didn’t really relate very well to my my family so I wasn’t too sure what was going on there growing up I became a sort of very sort of incident quiet child (Subscribe to the Find Your Voice Podcast by Aren Deu – How to control your thoughts and Emotions) growing up I had to try and find an identity for myself I didn’t really fits in I wasn’t interested in the usual stuff the other boys typically all interested in at that age I wasn’t particularly academic either I was more interested in the creative arts drawing painting listen to music drama it was a very big passion of mine at school and then I moved into other areas and then I went to the psychology extended psychology and criminology and very exciting very interesting people’s motivations not all of us are criminals so why people choose to go into those areas and what conditions are brought about to the individual to make them into such a situation where they would go on to do the things they take a lot of this was to do with a K. mental health and the suffering anxiety depression these kinds of things would build up and to motivate people to make probably the wrong choices from then on I experienced as most people do depression very suicidal in my later teen years sort of a loss of identity not knowing who I was where I wanted to go and had a lot of in building built in nineteen and unable to express this I did a couple times around age nineteen attempt some suicide (Subscribe to the Find Your Voice Podcast by Aren Deu – How to control your thoughts and Emotions) which was the obviously set back I was unsuccessful obviously and looks into some mental health supports and from then on a kind of still kind of lost and I went to the the sort of services that people go through a medication speaking to somebody but he still wasn’t getting still wasn’t relating to watch Seinfeld was the problem and I didn’t really know what the problem was either so I knew what it was and then from there it’s been like a kind of search me trying to find out who I am what was this I should not seem to be with me throughout my majority of my life I found hypnotherapy early on at university I then went back to this later on and it really is exploding communicates with my own conscious and found a lot of interesting insightful answers and then it sort of relief when you sort of understand the funny sort of identify what the problem is and then from then on what your identity is what you identify with and then well what you what to do with the rest of your life and for me the rest of my life was helping us get through that depression and anxiety not really bring this up to date why what a fascinating story so I always find that most people when they go through some level of investor let me let myself dot when we come to find out how we’ve got over and we’ve overcome that we don’t wanna help everyone else I feel the same always go the obligation that if I hit something that’s incredible to something that’s moving a lot I need to tell everyone this so I. time collapse they journeyed to make their life a lot easier as well so if somebody didn’t want to do hypnotherapy other any sort of recommendations that you would recommend if somebody came to you and said I’d send them really suffer with depression but I’m not in hypnotherapy what would you recommend okay yes absolutely so it would have been thirty there’s many different variations there so again with depression it gained it depends kind of depression that they’re talking about you need to identify the kind of personality that that person is and what they want if they just want to address the symptoms but they don’t want to do hypnotherapy you first kind of on it why did it want to do that and that that might say all because they you do this and this and then if you find a funded but you don’t do this is actually this technique I will say the techniques are pretty kind of the same thing they just either done with the with that relaxation and that’s basically hypnotherapy is from my point it’s which we luxation and then they do the techniques so stuff like CBT cognitive behavior therapy is something they can very easily do and not just kind of hit the thirty without the relaxation first you can go to your local NHS websites and there’s a lot of self help guides on there some perfectly acceptable and more to the point sort of validates it strategies to help if you feel that could help you and that’s as best as much as you want to do you want just want to get rid of a symptom you don’t want to know too much about it just get rid of it and get on with your life and that’s a very short simple routes to go about usually people come to me who have been through the short simple roots and this still something that’s not quite right so going back to actual question do apologize so what do they what well it’s simple stuff isn’t it like you know like exercise it is getting out the house will getting out if possible and breaking those routines cycles of depression you probably I mean a lot I hear people sleeping on the on the sofa falling asleep on the sofa and a chair watching TV say don’t go to that that this is a big thing because you need to that transition cuts off in your mind going to bed so I would be asking them to look at this sleeping arrangements is a bit too messy do they do a lot of work or study all playing games or whatever in that that if the answer is yes to any of those make your bedroom more suitable for resting it’s not a place for you to study to play games to watch TV so you need the mind space we sort of undressed your personality takeoff you worries of the day and you rest in the room that’s a big help for lots of people and they don’t they’re not aware of it okay let’s see watching TV the light from the TV from the laptop from their phones will mess with the brain to make the brain think that still so daylight so then they get that delay of melatonin in the brains to actually get in to see how good enough sleep so that’s a simple strategy to promote sleep and again it depends on the Simpsons what symptoms to they have a man should we mention exercise (Subscribe to the Find Your Voice Podcast by Aren Deu – How to control your thoughts and Emotions) you just think if you’re looking at say thought problems if you have for a lot of negative thoughts there’s a couple of very simple ways to deal with this may have heard of this it’s simply stopping the thoughts being aware of your consciously being aware of the fourth when it happens when it starts and then you just simply stocking up and bringing in a positive experience now this is a simple way to say that is don’t think of a negative thought think about how you feel I’m not sick okay books I like to use the idea of right down five positive experiences that happen to you in your life and then for say an hour what you want to do is sit down make sure you can see a clock and for seventeen seconds of every minute you think about positive so you think about teaching tool you’ll senses so Felix thing kids smell it’s tasty here is in one of what in Holland sure imagination around that experience put yourself into that moment to turn up the color of the sights sounds really feel it and believe it in your box yeah C. breeding in the experience so the memory memory because we serve and launches really really sort of disorder and sort of strong seventeen seconds of each minute when you go into the next what’s the next positive experiences no maybe you only have about three maybe you can think of ten but the idea here is to write down as many as you can as you want and then go through that our seventeen seconds of each minutes yes think about that one your breathing you do all those exercises just told you and then you move on to the next one you take a break within each minutes and then you go on the seventeen seconds all experience there are variations this technique you can just simply think one for fifteen minutes or five minutes and then move on to the next one the variations in time but that says a sort of more details (Subscribe to the Find Your Voice Podcast by Aren Deu – How to control your thoughts and Emotions) step by step all the think stop thinking of a negative thought think about how he feels about some of the detail process and that’s really what you need to be doing K. you do the full hour to you all smiling much better you are smiling more you just feel fantastic and so that’s one sort of structure you can do do it properly that’s my point probably not Sir just think about how peaceful free absolutely I think with that last bit is all when you were talking about using all your senses are you feeling it thinking it tastes not that you need to be in that state (Subscribe to the Find Your Voice Podcast by Aren Deu – How to control your thoughts and Emotions) especially for myself when I used to be affirmations as well (Subscribe to the Find Your Voice Podcast by Aren Deu – How to control your thoughts and Emotions) I couldn’t get any positive benefit from affirmation I would just say it off so strong yeah it’s not it’s not working whereas when I was really put myself in that moment or stinking of moments where I felt strong way I felt proud of myself for courageous those moments I almost got emotional during those and and that’s kind of a supposed where we really want to take it so just on the (Subscribe to the Find Your Voice Podcast by Aren Deu – How to control your thoughts and Emotions) play devil’s advocate here was a front some notes (Subscribe to the Find Your Voice Podcast by Aren Deu – How to control your thoughts and Emotions) and all could be cooked and tied up by the way is this a tool with that if we do it it’s gone forever or is it something that you’ll need to consistently keep doing for the rest of your life the technique I’ve just discussed is a way to promote your general wellbeing okay it’s a way to stop for you to start feeling good about yourself and for you to remind yourself of the positive things you have done in your and that you can come through and you can experience good good things in this life so that’s really what that is addressing no if you’re talking about in the moments when you get angry at something then there is it is a different strategy that what I would suggest which you probably are already aware of is you can depending on your level of anxiety or anger in that moment you may need to just simply a behavioral strategy is to leave the situation one of the things I teach self relaxation we count down from ten to one with each descending number you just relax the muscles in your head relaxing the muscles and took the head of the way down to your feet on a single those muscles with each descending number from ten from one to ten it doesn’t matter which way do from one to ten or ten to one customer the point is that is a very simple technique relaxation technique you can use you take yourself away from the situation no depending on how good you are the next kind of step would be to be aware it’s a mindfulness techniques if not she’ll come from hypnotherapy anyway what mindfulness is to be aware of the anchor say you be aware the Yankees you sort of observer like a scientist you sort of step outside yourself observe the anger is coming there and then once you observe it’s your sort of dissociating from it you’re not being the and get you observing the anchor okay and then you can allow it to disappear and it does simply leave now between the three I was used to be of the the understanding for me because I used to have terrible and all the time people would just very easily irritate me and my my understanding was I called to tell somebody I can’t tell myself to stop being angry if somebody upsets me it’s like saying don’t get burned when you put your hand in the fight fires wholesome going to get burned so this is what my rational until somebody wise and we said well let’s look at it this way somebody insults you when I say something to you and you get insulted by tweet gets upset but that is something that I have done that whatever they have said it is a yes stimuli to external stimuli comes from outside to you know you can understand them but your response is still your choice this is your choice to respond to it and you can respond to it with anger about she do immediately start feeling we have to put your response to it how you then choose so you find the gun is a gun wait there’s a choice and I’m a I’m a visual person so I like to see that gaps with getting bigger and bigger with the what choice can bigger and bigger and bigger I’m not just allows me more time to respond and to calm down and to again be that sort of observer okay you’ve done something that you initially upset me accounts what you meant to do which we didn’t mean to do it but that practicing of understanding there’s a choice but you can make to in that response there’s a choice there is a gap that free choice once you start to see that you can also make the appropriate choices still gonna get a bit of sense and that’s fine because as I say you observe it you observe the and then you let it go then don’t become the anger because we become the anger we become the anchor and that’s not us that’s not you you’re not your feelings this is another thing you’re not your feelings are not your thoughts there not yet it may be a part of you but they are not yet so you can observe them and let them go will clear them that’s incredible that does amazing thank thank you for sharing that so obviously I was making notes throughout that so observing it from the outside almost looking at it from like a clinical perspective and not being the young I think that’s really really important I think about that stage at you so I have to give myself some credit in terms of initially it was always the other person’s vote because they let the March that obviously started everything is always there for if they just stopped the for what happened and that the same time I I even try tactics not just leaving the room for example I’ve been in ever is rocket see this escalation of just have to literally move myself out of it but I don’t want that I want more controlled and I think as you were saying that the gap of the choice that we have the power nothing that’s quite empowering itself just thinking about that that we have a hundred percent control of everything that we do so it might take us time but if you can just think that I’m not as you were saying I’m quite a visual person as well I just had the word choice in like big bold double as just expanding almost like when you’re aware it argues expanding that the font size I just made so much sense of thank thank you so much for sharing that and obviously the run down from the ten to one seconds with relaxing muscles one without you do is put these in the show notes as well obviously with all your details so they can practice this and when they see that it works and obviously hopefully they can contact you so I want to segue ever so slightly so this is fascinating because right some of the stuff area and you mentioned stuff about I think it was criminology and people people’s motivation at this is just something for me redo the I’m interested in why people do what they do did you ever find any soul of the miss (Subscribe to the Find Your Voice Podcast by Aren Deu – How to control your thoughts and Emotions) commonalities between people who act let’s say in a bad way as opposed to just normal people was a something that you could identify somebody’s personality you might just think from this is a city where here I’m I’m just being curious here if the person feels that it’s somebody else’s fault that they are not in control in the world is giving them a bad deal the night will not sorry they will be more inclined to justify exacting revenge on others in whatever way they see fit so if you believe that everything that happens to you is happening to you without your control you have no self control you are not responsible in your life you are a victim if you believe that the Knox brings in the the rationale of somebody’s done it to me so I’m going to do to somebody else and that is a very obviously it’s a very cool way of looking at life you what you’re not able to be in control of your feelings and you start you’re not you’re not enjoying life because you’re just seeing people and others situations out of your control everything is out of your control and so that must be very terrifying life so what do you did you gain control by props doing it to somebody else doing ons one unsuspecting now not everybody fits this but I think it’s a good I think it’s a good rule of thumb so what you what you want to be doing is being aware of you have choices and again you can respond however you have that choice respond however you want to respond to others if their homes you been away there’s all this you know acceptance on it is a big thing about acceptance you accept you forgive them some people say you shouldn’t you should forgive and other people so you should forgive and then this is a medical it’s like holding a hot stone in your hand it burns units for somebody else it’s actually been you because you’re holding it I think he’s a very good you don’t necessarily have to forgive the person you just have to hop forgiveness if it’s difficult for you to forgive a person than just half the Guinness for the act it’s it’s about holding grudges if you if you can clear them if you can move on from looks it’s all about your perception it’s never it’s never really about what has happened to you is how you perceive the actions to it being two years so two very different people can go through a similar experience and have very different responses to it says it’s a part of that is about external Blue Cross of the valuation all you can control do you have an internal locus of evaluation you are in control and you could you have the choice to respond senator I T. Rowe as soon as you start talking and you mentioned the type of character traits alright victim mindset so that’s one of the things I I try and encourage the people who listen to this not to victimize it to take accountability for everything and I think by putting myself on loudspeakers offer all of my life what abilities (Subscribe to the Find Your Voice Podcast by Aren Deu – How to control your thoughts and Emotions) areas I can improve on I hope that other people find the courage and strength to do that so that’s really interesting and on forgiveness I think they give this actually comes out to more for yourself in order for yourself to move forward and my story which is going to come out we’re on episode eighty five right six nights coming up for episode two hundred and there is so much power in forgiveness because the person I was proud to be giving you didn’t want to be around I was a victim everything was the way I was hopping to me why did this have to happen to me in my perspective on that was completely different so thank you for sharing nothing that’s going to be really really useful what I want to do now that Alexander if I may is I want to look a little bit more personally into into yourself because I think it’s fascinating the way that you’re doing not even just in this short amount of time you’ve give us so much information so many tools that if we just dissected this episode as tools to help us with our as I eat to help us with depression (Subscribe to the Find Your Voice Podcast by Aren Deu – How to control your thoughts and Emotions) just combine our anger so that’s incredible so thank you so much for that but it tell us about yourself tell us about what you do not want a daily basis not to fall back into those traps knowing exactly what you know not so I’m talking more from a perspective of routine what kind of things do you do has the on a daily basis okay so there are very minute things I do very many very small details I did in my daily routine which may seem very insignificant but for me helped me and then there are more sort of philosophical things tonight (Subscribe to the Find Your Voice Podcast by Aren Deu – How to control your thoughts and Emotions) in a day to day routine important things make your bed make your bed is just such a clear thing (Subscribe to the Find Your Voice Podcast by Aren Deu – How to control your thoughts and Emotions) something has finished the night yesterday is finished and now today’s a new day make your bed it makes you feel better about yourself it just does it’s personal hygiene and you brush your teeth you’re ninety clean shower if you need to some people call it Xiao every night but you every other day then it’s it’s the small things that really for me how important I stopped it sounds ridiculous but I started wearing more comfortable underwear which is more sort of economic most suitable when I was a secondary school I had these all could sort of like tight ill fitting pants to for the rest of my life I just pull those parents and I didn’t know until next best a fitting underwear I didn’t realize how angry and annoyed at once because of uncomfortable underwear so it’s a it is about self Kerr in every minute detail I think wearing socks without holes in just puts me in a better mood you know if you’re gonna sock with a hole in it the weather’s gonna put you in a bad mood and just out of socks without a hole in it which is just a slightly more relaxed man it is also the physical things that actually takes the more subtle more philosophical ways you take a moment and you acknowledge the moments now right now I don’t want to leave so the dead air but if I were to acknowledge this moment I’m sitting down in the route every silence and peace around and I’m breathing and I have my health and it’s not that I feel happy is that I don’t feel unpleasant and that I don’t feel negative I feel sort of neutral and sometimes people confuse the absence of happiness or joy for negativity full all depression or boredom and that’s not the case so just because you don’t have happiness in your face so you not laughing at the moment doesn’t mean as a negative that because it wasn’t as a neutral I need that neutral you find peace so it could be simple simple thing like shutting leaving getting out your call and closing the door leaving your house or your apartment closing the door not moments just acknowledge the moment it’s neutral it’s peaceful and then you start to notice more and more moments like this we can be thankful our user I’m I thank you know hope on the planet six a government who upon opponent is a sort of away SO two relating to that well it’s it’s about again it’s about forgiveness it’s like the prayer is (Subscribe to the Find Your Voice Podcast by Aren Deu – How to control your thoughts and Emotions) I’m sorry please forgive me thank you and a lucky and he just said with this kind of thing to yourself and it’s about it’s it’s sort of like a clearing process whatever you’ll (Subscribe to the Find Your Voice Podcast by Aren Deu – How to control your thoughts and Emotions) whatever your feeling safe you fing up settle it would circle you can go through this process and it’s the idea that everything in the world you are responsible to some degree of everything that’s happening in the world so you could simply say oh sorry for the fires in Australia sorry for the terror attacks in the London I’m sorry for that guy use the president’s what country whenever you want to do whatever is and say thank you and I love you and you can do this to parts of your body as well I’m sorry for the juice I gave you all those units I’m sorry to my long school days yes I smoke I smoke so heavily for many years I’m sorry it’s my lungs thank you for being there thank you for helping me yeah I’m sorry please forgive me thank you and a lucky in go through this process with anything and anyone in any situation and again he’s practicing doing it with your body doing it just with the house your apartment you can do this with trees you can do this with all checks I just being thankful it’s really about being thankful and acknowledging this if you’re thankful to the world thankful to other things and ask for forgiveness you just again you feel better it’s a healthier mindset the hub rather than forget that go in to get that woman and forget that Sir country or whatever it’s a better acceptance but to anything that’s more of a philosophical thing the only to the loved up I think that’s such an interesting perspective I was I’m laughing as you said the socks so when you said the socks there’s nothing worse than when I go to the gym and then I jump in the shower come back and they want to succeed as a hole in it or it’s not the machine pay and what is the wife’s mixed has talking with my stock and it’s not it’s not coming all the way up so it’s kind of dive into my hero and it’s really frustrating and it’s just so comfortable but it’s funny because when you said that just a little bit of happiness if you can just make these small little changes that will actually make the difference between you just going down a spiral for the rest of the day we’re just staying even neutral even positive and then the other point I just want to reiterate which I think is so so important is that absence of happiness is neutral and it’s not negative and people need to recognize this and this is that again it’s like a self K. thing so everything about that is fantastic the last way I just want to ask use could you spell that I’m gonna say H. O. Coster three then (Subscribe to the Find Your Voice Podcast by Aren Deu – How to control your thoughts and Emotions) P. O. N. okay (Subscribe to the Find Your Voice Podcast by Aren Deu – How to control your thoughts and Emotions) and (Subscribe to the Find Your Voice Podcast by Aren Deu – How to control your thoughts and Emotions) hello upon a toner okay I’m not gonna try and say it well I’m gonna do is I’m gonna put in the show not so it just made my life a little bit easier yeah I may have messed up the order but the order doesn’t matter it just sort of acknowledging that you are responsible in some way to things and that it can you sort of promoting (Subscribe to the Find Your Voice Podcast by Aren Deu – How to control your thoughts and Emotions) forgiveness in yourself it’s telling yourself for whatever whatever you believe in the universal god whatever are you sorry for whatever happened and please forgive me and you know I love you I’m just saying that to yourself how often do you get people saying that the cell site to sell because this is about self care again absolutely we we are very quick to say to our loved ones and we don’t say to ourselves enough even myself so for example guarding the entrepreneurial space one of the things I would never tell myself is your worthy of having a day off for example for me having any time away from work was you’re lazy you’re not moving forward and even now I say the last six months I give myself a random day off where I would just let you print the PlayStation on a safer to Netflix in the package ships and I’m just like listen this is my day I deserve it your body deserves and I’ll just say these kind of things is really strange someway somehow indirectly I’ve kind of been doing a bit of this which is what I think is so powerful because it will help you and I recommend it to anyone behalf to love ourselves first and foremost Justin will deliver the people so thank you for sharing the Alexander that was that was fantastic and insightful so Seguin again then I want to go to a toddler bed vesti so one of the main things behind the show is looking at somebody’s invested through life and it could be when you went through depression but while I was trying to spin the adversity that in hindsight adversity combi our biggest gift if we take the lessons from it with the teachings that it may be told us whether it’s resilience over there is a way not to do that again or a way that we could maybe do it back so if you could just maybe give an example of anywhere in your life I mean it doesn’t necessarily need to be that one of when you’ve overcame adversity on the lesson they taught you please yes let me see I guess not first day I remember going to my local college somebody he said all you can do psychology at stops college unless it is yeah and there you go that’s it yeah (Subscribe to the Find Your Voice Podcast by Aren Deu – How to control your thoughts and Emotions) I’m gonna go next week it’s not good tomorrow and I’m going to not gonna feel like such an idiot excuse me can I do psychology and no I spoke to people and then I I did it and this isn’t really about an adversity more more than that although things are scary (Subscribe to the Find Your Voice Podcast by Aren Deu – How to control your thoughts and Emotions) you’re fine you can come through them and you do come through them and it’s simple things like that talking to people can be a big a big thing I understand I need let simple things like this led me to move to Thailand on my own live over this like five years teaching T. it’s you know we’re having to articulate you fool the class of children or adults it’s a big thing and then that led to me becoming a must for a year of a local school events ridiculous stuff I personally sent one point two but I did do so it is still it’s really about the little things and and I’m not no magic it’s okay to be terrified of doing something simple other people may have no problem to I’m not sick kicks it’s about you it’s about your own evolution your personal development let’s not compare you’ll students because it’s about you this is a big deal for you it may be small for other people with you it’s a big deal and you got through this you got through answering the door and speak to somebody (Subscribe to the Find Your Voice Podcast by Aren Deu – How to control your thoughts and Emotions) you got through the interview doesn’t matter if you want perfect you got through it yeah it got out the house at least once this week you got out the house you brush your teeth that’s a big thing okay that’s good such a powerful lesson there because we have to look at you as an individual you use as your journey your personal development I’m a still small wins the US also important so the problem many of us have is with social media literally in front of us twenty four hours a day dot I was small wins seem so insignificant yeah actually for us that is huge and we should be part of that so I’ll just tell you another very very quick story I did a podcast this morning on somebody else’s show this individual he’s made for podcasting has a radio presenter’s voice he’s done two thousand shows and I used to listen to four years ago and always to say I wish I could be as confident as this individual obviously I still have my own Stoller I’m comfortable in my own style this is who I am I don’t try to be like him well twelve months ago I made a goal that I want to get on the show was that if I can do really well with find your voice maybe even have me on the show fast forward to today I was on the show and you get something like two hundred thousand and listens a month absolutely incredible I can’t explain how anxious I was last night last week I generally get the flu Montreal court it every few weeks always got to share my hand and I was praying since December that please do not get a cold on this week I need to have a clear mind anyway long story short wake up this morning and I called breach of just bought into the living room I said to the wife I’m struggling I need to brief so I’ve got some more tough would it run my mouth does some deep breathing really try to compose myself anyway got through it I didn’t die I’m still here as we normally are after these things and it’s funny because as I came out of it there’s always ways we can kick ourselves and say I should have said this or maybe I should have said this or why did I stop actually said I’m proud of myself now I feel so comfortable that I can do anything now and I brought this piece of kit had there is a reason for this brother Alexander sub but this case yeah when I start recording a city at the beginning I’m gonna destroy I know my jingles what it wants so if it messes up it messes up surfaced a moment you trying it I brought this in October I’ve been too scared and anxious and nervous of trying to in case I pressed the wrong button and something happens and I’m just thinking what are you doing but it’s the little things people might look at the worst you pick something up for me I resonate with that story that you just said that because that little things important to me so whatever’s important to you as a listener no matter how small or insignificant you think it is I promise you that small when is gonna just compounding compound and then what of sitting you might find yourself living in Thailand teaching people are doing incredible things out yourself yeah I thank you for showing up and I really appreciate that and any because again it is about you as an expert how you interpret and yet you compass social media you might get shot down a a I’ll be cautious about doing that it’s really because once you can enjoy it in yourself that’s all you need you don’t need anybody else he likes you have your own likes and you all good enough to have to get your own links your likes a good enough that’s all you need I’m sorry I love that so knowing everything that you know not and this is just a bit of a quick segue before going to the fun part of the show with all your tools and all your kids and knowing that you can overcome adversity you can overcome whatever life throws at you been a doc is part of your life through depression what’s your biggest fear right now my biggest fear is boredom I’m not connecting to others not being able to connect it was a big problem for many years which resulted in my being angry and frustrated with other people and then using humor to sort of mark on the people at which kept me at a distance from them and being able to accept others now at their level which is could be higher the same or lower than me one of the cook whatever you you know you take that to me whether Schumer or intelligence or emotional intelligence or career wise all the level of the level of learning tool (Subscribe to the Find Your Voice Podcast by Aren Deu – How to control your thoughts and Emotions) interrelationship yeah whatever levels they all accepting the other people are at their own levels they have their own journeys stop comparing myself to them stopping feeling entitled to other to harbor the people connect with me find what I term and allow if I can’t connect to somebody then ducks ducks okay I guess it’s about I guess it’s about for me when I used to be terribly bored now I’m not cool because I know what I’m doing I’m doing the study my therapy and helping people so be full I was frustrated the something I wanted to do and I wasn’t doing it I didn’t have a plan or purpose I guess again being bored not being connected nothing else connected up this but now because I’m sort of self aware I know how to deal with that if you accept that you are other people out their own on their own journey going to the one line seven struggles and I focus on me what is it that I want it’s not because people will distract you from your purpose you go out and find entertainment and and and socialize with people it is something you need to do is it a destruction is this something you’re not doing it’s the same it’s the same with drugs it’s the same with with anything really that what is the purpose is the purpose behind and is it making you better or is it making you worse or is it keeping you stagnant are you not to prove I’m sure we’ll be moving forward so I guess my answer not moving forward I guess stagnating absolutely which is kind of like boredom not connecting absolutely I love that I’m just on your point in relation to not comparing us off on your journey one of the tide lies behind the show is find your voice and write your own story and always stress the word your it has to be your story but we can only have a find out when we find ourselves and we find our own voice and not something that I can’t explain how powerful is the I just feel comfortable in the things I used to hide growing up was the ins I E. D. B. N. N. M. path where (Subscribe to the Find Your Voice Podcast by Aren Deu – How to control your thoughts and Emotions) just as a guy just get emotional over the over the silliest things and the more I come out with that the less of a mask I need the easier it is because it’s a hell of a lot easier being yourself and having T. almost dressed up like a superhero every single day I’m just still got more people resonate with your story as well so I just encourage people that if you really want to find your tribe your circle you will want to make an impact or anything you have to be one hundred percent authentic to yourself so I absolutely love that thank you for sharing that thank and on that note what we are going to do is going to the fun part of the show so this is the part of the show Alexander where we ask you some random question so it’s not going to be based on your profession so it’s good just gonna be based on finding out who you are what kind of things you like so for the next sixty seconds what I’m gonna do is I’m going to choose some questions here and just one word or one sentence answer replies only so whenever you’re ready we’re gonna get started okay so the ability to fly or be invisible fly the number one piece of advice for health self can be aware of what you’re not doing the number one thing that annoys you you know it’s the best piece of advice anyone has ever given you trying money or fame I guess I’d say money your favorite movie the shining of the items your biggest mistake believing self limiting beliefs your part is the treatment going to Thailand to me it’s wonderful friends and funny meets my one love that if you had an extra hour a day how would you spend it studying if you can get the listeners to practice one thing for the rest of their lives after this episode what would it be remember that this is your journey so everything you do is for you and stop comparing ourselves to compare yourself with how you were yesterday and improve on today love that I’m finally what song best describes your life the sound of the sirens mortal coil okay fantastic so we are kind of heading towards the end of the show not exam dot and the next question is about reflection so one of the things I want to ask you is knowing everything that you know nine if you could maybe go back to younger Alexander I whisper something in his is just let him know how to maybe be forward in his life what would you say they’re not actually a confidence as they appear to be they are old just children and I was frightened and it’s okay that you are front okay Sir okay to be a child because we roller charm school children to take that child look after the child keep up with your make it happy because when you become adults you will have a much healthier relationship with the child within you as an adult less powerful that’s very very powerful and not decide to bring us to the last question of the day and the last question is about legacy so if in a hundred fifty years time signs vows to save us and all that exists is a book and this book is about you it’s about your life it’s about or the way the wonderful things that you’ve accomplished and achieved festival with the title of the book B. and secondly what with the summary at the back tell us about you it’s time for the books will be knowing what was on the the summary would be on the back I guess synopsis via reflection Offa alien coming to human that’s interesting I’ll definitely pick that up absolutely thank you so just before I give you a chance to tell us how we can connect with you and hopefully the listeners can either use your services (Subscribe to the Find Your Voice Podcast by Aren Deu – How to control your thoughts and Emotions) just follow your work because I think it’s fantastic I think just in this very short episode you’ve helped us so so much other any questions or is there anything else that you wish I may have asked you what you may want to leave the audience with I just want to let people know that there are services out there and the NHS do a fantastic job they just underfunded and with a lot of people needing services that the accused there is just really your perspective on life how you interpret life is really your perspective on you can change the perspective to make you to give you a better way of being yeah I love that you can definitely change our perspective and if you want to change our perspective one of the things you need to do is follow Alexander after the show’s Alexander what is the best place that people can connect with you yeah you can find me on Facebook and eggs and Walker (Subscribe to the Find Your Voice Podcast by Aren Deu – How to control your thoughts and Emotions) but you can also go to my website which is Alexander Walker C. H. which stands for chemical emissions Alexander will to see how H. dot com or you can I guess get my phone number it’s out there somewhere you can contact me that way absolutely hope you don’t get any dodgy close but all of the other stuff will be I will be in the show notes for everyone just to make their life easier I want to extend my hand once again and say thank you to Alexander he did help us out on the black country blogs podcasts as well so please do check that out as well I’m forever as a whole thanks for listening my trainer thank you so much fun and remember this podcast is absolutely free so all we ask in return is for you to share this with a friend and drop us a five star review over on iTunes have an awesome day