How to change the way you see yourself

How to change the way you see yourself with Rock Thomas

“Support, encourage & challenge” by Rock Thomas

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As featured on mind valley, goalcast, EoFIRE, Tony Robbins, Wheelbarrow profits, the Gazette and the Bigger Pockets! Rock Thomas joins us on find your voice to share his incredible story and help you all on your journey of finding your voice and moving forward towards achieving your goals.

The way we see ourselves can massively determine our success in life and Rock Thomas speaks about the importance of this, along with all the incredible mindset that he has developed throughout his life of figuring out the next steps in the midst of adversity. This is a true story of someone who had two choices. To become a victim, or to become a victor and thankfully for us here on find your voice and the world Rock Thomas chose to become the latter and really make everyday an opportunity to better himself, serve the world and deliver his great teachings and wisdom.

Some key timestamps:

[03:10] Finding your path

[06:20] Support encourage and challenge model

[14:10] Life is about growth

[19:00] Feed and energise yourself to change yourself

[24:45] Exposing your weakness

[30:14] Choose how you see yourself

[35:25] Feeling like he did not belong

Episode on forgiveness:
https://youtu.be/Rq1oDkLYpqk

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Transcript:

good habits you relationship with your lady at home but go to work and and then act like like the great right absolutely you can be a lousy father you can be allows you to keep your dog at home unit go to work and act like you’re really great person welcome to an episode of find your voice a movement led by yours truly Aren Deu a guy who was overcome crippling anxiety adversity and difficulty like so many of you in life whose main goal now is to help you combat your excuses take control of your life write your own story and most importantly find your voice so now without further ado I welcome the host of the show himself Mr Aren Deu okay I am delighted to be able to welcome roc Thomas onto today’s episode of find your voice and I didn’t want to use this line but if you have been living under a rock dang I don’t know what you’ve been doing because one of the things I’ve done and I know a lot of my list is to use we looking for motivation looking for inspiration almost on a daily basis and if you’re like me and I have read you job is that you would have definitely said what Thomas’s video so welcome to the show my friend how you doing today yeah you know we’re we’re really grateful grateful that we’re going through whatever we’re going through we have the tools to go through it pretty well well I’m I’m excited and feel are jazzed about what become because at the time to be awakened tension absolutely absolutely I I love that you just come from grassroots straight from the star and if anyone’s watching the sun you should now you’re gonna see a great house tied behind by Thomas which is the I am movement which is something remind me we have to jump into his %HESITATION which I think is fantastic so I know about yourself I obviously do a lot of research and I’m always fascinated by my guest but also I’m also fascinated by white people do what they do R. E. why do you choose the profession that you do not for example is not because it was a desire as a child or was it the way that life shape you so if you wouldn’t mind just to give the listener some context about you if you could just give us a little bit of a summary about your life maybe your story I mean your story’s fantastic so take as long as you need share as many details as you feel you need to you and then just tell us about the stuff that you’re doing today please you know I think the human spirit wants to grow all all the time and at the same time as a part of our bring that one eight eight and comfortable apple between the two that determines really the quality of people’s lives if you are like myself grew up in an environment where things are a little bit difficult you found a way to respond to that being grateful did you actually become a bigger version of yourself I believe a lot of people unfortunately don’t have the circumstances that allow them to do that they grow up and they resent grow they resent the idea of being challenged just want to be comfortable and safe and Julius programming well in my case I grew up on a farm my father who is from Europe from Holland and France and Germany what is the heart and the words go out you know be the horse to do that you that you need to have your old yeah that was pretty daunting I would often come back to me thank god I don’t know how to do this right now how to do that the goal whether minor thirty out in the ground in the ground is frozen or burst and I and now I had to carry buckets of water sloshing into my boot and my feet were freezing and I come back and I would complain and his dander line was get back out there and figure it out and we gave me a gift that I didn’t know at the time was they’re searching in my mind for a way we created a huge amount of creativity and me and created the greatest compliment all almost never get the belief that you can figure it out thank you all the way how many times are you around people when they go on god you know I don’t know how to open a business %HESITATION I don’t know what exercise routine you are not sure about the dire them overweight but I don’t know and then there’s I don’t know okay I don’t know for me you’re beginning out after the I know there’s a way I don’t I I know our arm I didn’t know who waited but I found the way and not greater yeah your children don’t give all the answers you need your mower diamond and all the times I didn’t feel longer supported or strange and I and I and I’ve had a heart of mind my adult life deal with that going alone is going abandon your non lovable every part of every person has to work on some part your love in your car older you’re made to feel safe and all of that might go out in the real world and get slapped by some clients that rejected you and now you’re I don’t know I’m your Daddy you can’t make a living are you going to work on I have to work on that part no we will not do on doors and sell heat pump or solar cells solar panels let’s go I have no problem but I might have a problem in another part of your work on I’m pretty excited I think people in life if you do what is difficult white will be easy absolutely you keep on doing what is easy white will be difficult so tree so true absolutely love that and I think this is something that many listeners including myself can resonate with where it’s almost like you have two ends of the spectrum for example you can have the tough loving parent almost forcing your programming you have using your words that to figure out which I think is a fantastic way of shape is someone to be craving to be resourceful but then you can also have the other side and I’m not a compliment to my mom for this way she kind of multi cornered me looked after me a lot so I I was a young child I was was very poorly I was always in and out of hospital and I think because of that fear they kind of looked after me a little bit too much to the point now where any change in temperature or anything all I’m getting L. within instead because although he wrapped in blankets and called %HESITATION but throughout your life things happen in investee strikes and it’s in those moments you have a decision that way you take this on as a piece of growth or do you sit back and just wait for mommy to call my mum %HESITATION con always be there and I’ve got to learn that myself so I see both sides of the spectrum would you say thinking out loud not as prospective fathers of parents out there that you need a bit of both because I think both could break if you don’t have to balance that might come up with a model that I believe great the maximum desired you ever in your life and it goes like that the court courage and challenge %HESITATION management tree growing in soil that supports that not dry desert ops walking with it too much the court right you know fall down there’s not enough support rich soil well what currently the word regarding around you he don’t want it I’m writing do you need to have some work to be cursed me working hard all the time never having any mental mind no but but go harder yeah I can do that and then the challenges the wind the wind questions the tree around forcing the roots to grow strong characterize the leader of the motivators are manager whatever you are if all you do is beat down on your employee you down on your kit and challenged them they’re gonna get frustrated manner discourage gonna be too hard all you do is support to make their lunch but a little you know no I understand that you have me and go to school and back the battle for them and then take on that all the biggest in the yard and I don’t think I might get a child will never develop the root strong right parents as a leader it’s your job to go Hey rock had a lot of challenges in this case you can handle challenge but you know what you really need to be encouraged because if you get a lot of encouragement by encouraging during the challenge I’ll get them all out of him well you that model when working with people we need them all just in the right doses based on how we were raised yeah absolutely I think I think that’s fantastic and again I I love that because he’s a simple method that every single one of us can just use it as almost like a mantra when we’re dealing with investing our own allies but also with those that we love is also that’s that’s fantastic another thing that you mentioned as well in the past Paul this question was the I don’t know phase and there are so many people in the I don’t know face ID unable to really be resource for in their own way so what I want to kind of doing the might not even be announced for this rock is when you were growing up I knew how to figure everything out almost because that was the choice and the decision but you’ll find that kind of put you in so for some people that would make people crack and for some people they would think okay that’s it I’m not going to try I’m not gonna try to figure out but that’s something within yourself that made you think actually challenge accepted I know you went ahead with that and I don’t know the answer for this and I’m not even sure if there is an answer for it but sometimes I’m always wonder when two people grow up in the same environment with the same words in the same action said to them how they can grow up so differently and you’ve been you’ve kind of got in the way that I’m not that’s the way I want everyone to go especially the listeners of the show what what the what’s unique about yourself in that moment how do you reframe that was your perspective on that you’re a really great question I’m glad you asked and I don’t know if I have the answer right here’s what I do know is that we sort our decision making through brokers and they’re called conclusion so we develop these beliefs right we believe that and it comes partially from what we’ve heard like my father all the time one difficult you’re gonna have to work hard to get out there and work hard get ready for life for what I do not believe that life is difficult when I grew up I went out and I got a job like driving a taxi for twelve hours a day working in a bar working two three jobs because my programming with light on the website somewhere along the line this wonderful believes that you either win or you learn and if you have that win or learn model you can take action without the fear of failure but most people want to look good they don’t want to get hurt they don’t want to feel uncomfortable we believe that might be difficult they want to have the easy path we’re always looking for the path of least resistance I’m usually looking like when I play a sport I will look for the best player on the other team and I will take them out I believe that I will grow from it if I if I if I can’t get them I will learn I don’t want these new player I want to be the best version of myself in the way I do that challenge myself on a regular basis so there’s no Hey all cover this guy and he burns me every time good what do you do how do you burn me how can I use that to get better in the future and I’ll even go up from after the game or during the game you’re you’re the you’re questioning me I’m usually the fact that I take out the best in your embarrassing me anything I mean you look at me and I’ll go okay what what is the secret and no tell you well what I do is I move my shoulder I think like that we’ll tell you yeah why would all bring more in life if I can’t win I become let your passionate Russian and I come out of there feeling great growing I would grow greatness and gratitude absolutely keep on focusing on that in your life you’re always going to be a winner absolutely %HESITATION I love the and I’ll and I’ll be a completely honest here and for for transparency I wasn’t always like that but I’ll say summary my mid twenties dot became almost a thing but I’m gonna win the number eleven and are we just like to put myself in environments forcibly initially because we did the Tony Robbins book that was written without passing development stuff and I said let me just try this let me just make myself uncomfortable and I was a twenty five year old guy a random story and I’m going to a boxing gym because my long love life dream was to become a boxer I’ve got a fourteen year old kid day who’s who’s a national champion running rings around me and hit me in places I didn’t even know you could feel or experience pain and it was overcoming the ego an embarrassment because I think a lot of people like you said there is no everyone look good all the time is an Instagram life you’ll want to look like we have everything figured out ways I kind of left out the door and I said I need to then landing is a lot more important than how I look on the outside because how I feel on the inside that’s really really important so I’m really really glad that you said that because another thing as well on that point you sorry I’m just I’m just I do not cover so many incredible thought from the is the best people in the industry that you tell you as well not the answers so you know how you went to the individual he said your incredible adult to tell you all this is well I do I know and I loved about the people at the top of the game just like yourself in terms of what you do now you’re helping us as a listener so not for the obvious extend my hand to say thank you because that’s something that I really want if I don’t walk away from this episode but just one thing is just put yourself in an environment forget about the embarrassment listen I get embarrassed all the time again bars on this microphone half the time when I’m trying to get low grades are and it’s about just being uncomfortable and then growing from the opportunity yeah I mean builders that you want to develop and and and bring into your life and eventually create part of your identity I talk about the I am movement work at all I am following you hello I am a passionate student I am somebody who likes to defy the odds yeah I am somebody that rely life is about growth you know putting out in the arena and you think that the dirt and blood and sweat on your face not about being the critic up in the stands looking down and you could do better I want to be in the field playing I I don’t I don’t mind there is no failure our national braille users just learning right I’m a I’m okay with that because I know your %HESITATION means not giving myself the only way I feel absolutely then and I’m falling into a victim what I find myself falling into well sometimes they do that my my little thing is I’ve become a little bit regret I’m a little bit quiet a little bit wrong group it’s usually because I’ve given it a hundred percent if you like I can learn and I can’t win in that moment and I’m I’m now I’ve searched my brain and I’m not no that’ll last sometimes an hour or a minute a day and that’s not the best version of myself but that’s where I go and then not but I’m learning to move through that and your those prospects I appreciate your transparency with the answer is also thank you for sharing that and I would ask you that because as somebody who is successful and I am having openly admitted that it wasn’t always easy and you’ve got to put yourself in those moments and experiences where you struggle to maybe not be the best at it what’s your day to day like and the reason I ask this question is because I ask one of my guests about their routine and I try at least for the listener safe for them to be able to think actually I had wrote Thomas say the Saudis into your head I would say this or say about what David I maybe I’ll just try that because I want I’m a fan of them believe that we are result in terms of a success based on the hobbits massively so I want to kind of get into a day in the life of rock Thomas if you could yeah they’re they’re a little bit different but there’s something going to remain the same at this stage of my life I probably move my body about four hours a day I’m a very physical person so when meaning biking riding all yoga that arose %HESITATION but the major thing I think is how you start today have you finished your neck in my book to record my blueprint tell me what you do before in a clock in the morning after eight o’clock at night and I can predict every area of your life I can predict your physical life your how your finances your relationship I’m not most people you make it through the day nine to five pretty good you can have a shitty relationship with your lady at home to go to work and and then act like like the great right absolutely you can be a lot of the father you can be allows you to keep your dog at home do you want to go to work and act like you’re really great person so usually so the part that people need to work on is what I call outside of the margin of what right marking the ninety five what are you doing in the morning in the evening what I’ve learned from my mentors the first out you should have for you pick up your phone and you respond to the world we have in our neighborhood that looks like for you when you get up and do something that feeds the mind the mine you might look into a quote off my list and you find your voice podcast while your order you know exercising or something share some words that nourish unix thank you elevate you and inspire you every day because the mind of the track negative and and the world is vying for attention more than ever rain to be dumped me animals are are women with are you too but well we got to do is you gotta have a plan for that number two I know move your body we are physical beat the book called the blues no longer talk about people that lives the longest Robert people that that that our arms works in your in our six hours in the gym now people run marathons to people that just you little bit each and every day they moved around a great pick up a vacuum they harbor the move your body isn’t younger go for a walk with the dog your mind your your body and then be intelligent around the things that you’re going to focus on my new patient like patient most people don’t anytime visual art are they don’t how do you continue to move toward your goals in life you have a big vision for you thinking about it can you talk about it with yourself I want to run a marathon I’m still excited about running a marathon yeah we forget when you choose your long run my marathon when will you’ll get on the primary entry from America you need your energizer stock you know I did about it you close your eyes here’s bell running the marathon you’ll be one year down the people cheering one you create some data in your mind kind of like the desktop of your computer the things are not that popular easy access we keep on bringing the things that are gonna kill you are your morning some of the things that would you and then at the end of the day yes I we talk about goal is I do an audit so people that have children think about it at the end of the day you’re in you’re talking you’re kept in the how are you today we know what our was pretty good it usually does thank you much but if you’ve got an extrovert they Michael I really enjoyed playing ball with Eddie and we had a great time I scored a goal that it was on and we went swimming in loch Lomond what would you learn %HESITATION little knoll and learned that the wind was pretty cold but when I moved around I got warm so you do an audit of the day and you look at the market what I look for is how do I search how to make the world a better place than I found corn but how to make the world a better place your name is a smile right now the person is while back maybe a compliment to somebody we’re in this pandemic right now and fortunately where I live I go to I go to I can call about golfing yesterday normally give the guy a couple of blocks to clean my calls leaves right twenty one whoa where do I go you’re here every day working your ass off and I appreciate that so when I bought it myself I go you were pretty generous you were calling and again we don’t want to do that again the next day if you raise during your day the end of the day you don’t audit the day you don’t recognize how often you were where you can learn where you were jerk you can maybe change that behavior maybe well yeah well I mean the end of the day with my journal my my bad a few moments and a few minutes one of my great or what did I learn thanks for contributing what can I change my mind about what problem to answer my own conscious mind tonight while I’m sleeping just called me and wake up excited so those are the two things I think they can really make an impact on people’s lives and especially on the %HESITATION but when people are going to adversity you’ve got to have those anchors of morning and evening rituals Norton BLP strong or part of the day that most people ignore it absolutely absolutely I’ve never had it explained solo solo coherently and you’ve articulated that incredibly because most people can get through the night until five AM most people are just getting through the night to five AM is those like you said outside the lines outside the borders may that’s where the magic happens and everything you do in that game obviously through ball person development I’m kind of doing except for I’ll be completely honest is the order to bought and I read that dina because not a solo so crucial now when I think back in hindsight I’m not how many times would I benefit myself the next day four oh four or ten how why maybe acted that way %HESITATION how did I say because one of my things is always about services always why do this podcast in my spare time no get nothing from its just to try and help as many people as I possibly can so that’s something I’m definitely going to do and you want to give me segue me nicely on to the next question and this is for you which is about four to ten minutes about adverse T. two words that you used in your last on set so I always ask mark well I guess about their abilities because I always believe that there’s somebody else in the road going through the same thing and perspective is a beautiful thing and sometimes if one person can get out of it I just want to give the list the hope that you too can get out of it as well so if you wouldn’t mind if you could maybe just tell us a short story of a tiny been through adversity what what the lessons not taught you after going through a coming through it well there’s a lot of stories of adversity but I think that %HESITATION one of the ones that affect people the most most people suffer from not feeling like you’re not on that level and they spend most of their life looking for a plan to cover that up I’ll let you know like they’re ugly day you wear make up the change their hair %HESITATION they go to the gym in the build muscles and get tattoos and they cover you try to cover up instead of exposing and what I’ve learned over time is that so much more powerful to be vulnerable in an area and so when I grew up my brother’s business call the PK because a lot of acting and I tried to cover it up with my life hiding it get being in your home I bought women’s make up to cover it up when I’m not driving it up right out my energy was spent on covering it up and the reality is that when you make them but when you can connect with people and Hey you know what I’m suffering from twenty pimples on my face and I really feel bad %HESITATION I notice you only have one what do you do that you know you got any ideas do not connect with somebody right hello you have to access your courage number my god Hey you know what I drink lots of water what do you drink no well I drink a lot of milk you know what maybe not a clue you know that calm your or %HESITATION wow I didn’t know that and all of a sudden you bring people closer and you expose your weakness I learned over time that the exposing of the weakness the struggling what you’re going through connect people so later on in my life I mean I went to my late twenties carrying around an identity of ugly pizza and I came across a programmer that taught me that they’re just labels are just just same way for me to judge your shot or that you’re stupid or bad your bad numbers when it’s not a good speaker and unfortunately many of us are injectable no we go %HESITATION I’m John barshard behave that way right I’m going you know what I I just I like to listen a lot to learn a lot I don’t need to look talk that much I actually can express myself quite well the maturity then they give the popcorn dadaism is back you can change the meaning long story short my mentor asked me to look for a role model I chose Clint Eastwood I changed my you run really handle and then it just becomes like learning to play the piano it’s repetition over and over and over again I said to myself and I started to look for the evidence and I was able to ship my identity being out and be combat regularly and develops more cock thank god for everything I work hard most of my life up until then I change my identity from working hard working I went from working being paid by the hour the pain by result I went from having one stream of income today thirty five I went from being dyslexic and bad Beller author of the book whatever limits or is it just the label and I put my whole podcast about movement is there draw attention to the suggestion that we’ve all gotten from people around us %HESITATION negative %HESITATION but %HESITATION not empowering and uplifting and provide us with a different perspective that used that and then he used the adversity the women are learned not to come out and be the best version of yourself and that’s really what I try to do with people and it’s exciting because I know people knew how what I thought of myself aren’t when I was growing up in the new internet they wouldn’t believe it it wouldn’t believe it and most people are the same way most people have terrible inner narratives and they’re they’re speaking their way through their nine to five and they get home at night time then that’s when they do the damage the Egypt they shouldn’t eat thank you binge watch Netflix I asked they they watch porn they do a bunch of doctors there intermarriage %HESITATION crappy you get to the end of the %HESITATION the norm the okay now I can you know do all the things that are gonna make you feel good in the moment and they’re gonna build later and then the world over and over and over again to get back in the trap of mediocrity that is so true that is not is an episode in itself the I I could expand on for hours on end so it might not stand and I’m always trying to learn and so a few things I want to say that if anyone’s going to investigate and the first point that you mentioned was to seek help in trying to connect with someone and I will say this because I do a separate part because he’s a local one for men’s mental health to help people and causes a lot of suicide rates of always trying to just sovereign ability so this for blokes and we just speak what what goes on and I’m going to try to be as transparent as possible I’m so again we expose our weaknesses from the and always say exposing your weaknesses are your vulnerabilities is actually a sign of courage not weakness and I’ve refrained on slowly people are now reaching out to us and saying well thank you because you said this we now feel comfortable so I love that about you and also about the find your voice podcast I never thought that people would connect and relate to my story and this whole moving off on your voice when I start telling people I’m actually shy person who doesn’t like being in big crowds and a and I struggled and I get nervous and even before sometimes up with the episode of a podcast on win ninety eight episodes and I I still feel my hard you train and this is my environment I could do whatever I like in the show I can just turn it off if I want to do but I still have those I’m just me expressing those house people massively and the last point is fantastic which is about people being suggestible and it’s something I say about two years ago a massive change so I was a shy person my school reports he’s a quiet kid in the class my way because I am a manager that wick he’s a great great wake up but he’s too quiet he doesn’t interact and I just refrain that I’m a good listener because now when I’m on a podcast unable to listen to what somebody says and I can literally word for word so your answer again because I’ve taken everything and I feel it a written it down on I love that I need help me Hey so we all have a gift is just a perspective his perspective in how you frame it so fantastic night you can see Alex right on right now because I’m just like this so much content and and stuff I can dive into more employee for the listeners SO at great great great suggestions there and again rugged Clint Eastwood he wouldn’t want to look like a rugged Clint Eastwood going up absolutely mark you know people I think don’t realize that we keep on repeating something in their mind and they eventually %HESITATION the concept is it sure is the highest version of yourself how you see yourself you can you can ask people around like you have a miles right that’s something that that you should acknowledge for yourself right it’s not about ego it’s about appreciation people are like what is what is the biggest lessons you’ve got and it’s not letting yourself if you are reading my because love can be a little nice are looking at yourself I like not not appreciating the effort I put in the care of the vehicle right all I appreciate I appreciate the fact that you’re a hundred percent of the day during yeah love it thanks in advance of appreciation bring the %HESITATION me anyway that connection to myself and get one more thing very good job man you’re you know you’re fifty seven you doing pretty good you can look it up thank I’m I’m up to now seven thousand oranges I picked for my trees in the backyard of my neighbors read during the academic also regulate your own oranges all right okay and I read them and fresh orange juice our first with no insurance or my my family every day and I look at it as a challenge and opportunity right now I work you know what I’m climbing the trees using whatever you’re getting worked out I’m I’m getting organic food from Mother Earth there’s so many ways you can win it learn about out on journey if if you if you become that curious yeah absolutely absolutely my wife preaches curiosity what time she’s like the most curious person in the world any any Stephanie how are right I I do need to segue because your fascinating rock let you speak to you for hours you can probably tell so the next part of the show is the fun part of the show and in this pot what I’m gonna do is ask you the most random questions for the best part of ninety seconds so generally speaking one word or one sentence answers only I’ll be ready yeah let’s do it okay what is your favorite hobby caller the biggest mistake you made last year %HESITATION last year last year two thousand nine %HESITATION hiring the wrong person for one of my business K. your proudest achievement raising three beautiful healthy vibrant loving generous crying I love that I love that other than yourself who is your favorite motivational speaker Tony Robbins if you had an extra hour a day how would you spend it making a lot of nice the best less than anyone has ever taught you nothing in life has meaning everything is empty and meaningless you show up with your programming and filters purifying immune to it in general are you talking about you can say whatever you like I love that if you could abolish one thing in the world what would it be form %HESITATION on kindness or cruelty to each other in animals absolutely why you secretly good at that nobody knows I am incredibly strategic we’ll be in a situation and I will find a way to win what would you like to be remembered for I’ll be remembered for raising people up I am a master mind group called M. one to create it fifty five hole like millionaires and I help people so I’m I’m trainer and about seventy four and and I serve the community well what I do in my community is I find people that I can serve and then I give them a platform to I bring them on to my agreement in July you need to say Hey look the years ago now he just people have your Airbnb and here’s an online course and I really recommend that you look into it about %HESITATION developing leaders and then finally then what song best describes your life Dr great question %HESITATION I don’t know what popping into my mind is %HESITATION happy by will Ferrell I love that I love that it’s really weird you said actually so I think I said but ninety eight episodes and nine and two episodes ago somebody said the same thing somewhere I’m glad to see people are people being happy and I’ll bring it happy guests on to the show you’re not looking at your face thank you thank you again yeah absolutely I I I I realize that there’s also science behind this is also always fascinated by science in terms of the health as well that will be smile instantly we can change our mood so if ever anyone struggling or if the Weiss and angry at me I make a kind of look up and smile and she hates it in the instance but the moment you start smiling then everything normally gets better so thank you for that so we are kind of coming towards the end of the show night rock and the next question I want to ask is about reflection which I think is gonna be fascinating from yourself so if you could take yourself back to a younger child maybe on the farm in Montreal when you were working but knowing everything that you know now and how your life turned out and you can just whisper something in your is what would you say the biggest thing that happened for me because I felt I was younger having kids and I always felt like and I didn’t belong outsider didn’t get in the polling ridiculed and and all that sort of thing I for a large part of my adult life excluded myself because that’s what I was used and I found ways do not relationships are rich but to break them down %HESITATION for me the big lesson for me was to cherish relationships and recognize that people are very helpful you can have a friend that behaves like a jerk or a night you go out and work on my number one of your friends used that all you got Ronchi whatever or you can have somebody who’s neutral we only had a bad month for somebody who’s being a really bad partner per year because they’re going through something at home you don’t know about and then they bounced back so I would be a little more compassion for the humans around me and so that I could maintain relationships longer being the worst if you times very intolerant you too %HESITATION subpar behavior because that was the filter my father had and I only learned later in life that the difference between being a jerk and having high and and I would honestly say that I’ve been part of my life I was a jerk and I push people away from me because the difference between your comfort zone and what you’re familiar with and everyone’s all that’s in my comfort zone a lot of time women get abused or they get beaten by their husbands and they’re so familiar with it the C. get out again they don’t like it yeah and they’re not comfortable with it you’re within the brain what we’re familiar with this small engine but you’re probably curious like I am about personal development that distinction is huge move away from what you’re familiar with you’ve got to create a vision you got it some work on the inside and okay yeah I’m familiar with being broke you’re with it but that’s not who I am that’s not what life is about now I changed my money blueprint that somebody that track well to work hard for it to become you know a very abundant in my money blueprint so yeah you’re breaking relationships the thing that I needed I would need more coaching that area but my father when I was young I didn’t have it and I did the best I can of course of course absolutely and that’s what we’ll try to do and I just hope that if the somebody you could maybe learn that lesson early hoping to take your words on that because that the last as well is gold dust I think familia familiarity and comfort zone this often confused and you just had a brilliant example there so that’s something that we can just it sounds so simple if we can just figure that out and %HESITATION and I’m I’m a kid to try this to lead this about myself after this episode that could be a massive massive shift in terms of your success in your overall happiness or well being so again once again thank you so much for sharing that so that does suddenly bring us to the last question and the last question is about legacy and I always ask this to order my guess that if in a hundred fifty years time signs vows to save us and all that exists is a book and this book is about you it’s about your life it’s about all of the amazing things you’ve accomplished and all of the lives that you’ve touched along the way thank you all want to know is what is the title of this book exactly what with the some at the back tell us about you I would go with the title of the book would be the pardon courage and challenge and the number in the back would be at when you surround yourself with somebody like rock comet it’s not what you know in like that how much you care and you care so much when the people around him that he was willing to do what most people are willing to do which is our courage and predominantly challenge people even when they didn’t feel like it Johnson spiritually challenge them physically challenged emotionally the password now and you touched a lot of lines in a lot of people around the higher version moved out because rocket the courage John I love the I love that and %HESITATION you have me Egan I because a fasting %HESITATION doing after this man the wife a promise that we’re gonna go for a walk and I’m just listening to audio podcast episodes so there’s going to be definitely a plug for that in a few seconds but just before I give you a chance to connect with the audience rock I just want to ask is there anything you wish I’d asked you maybe today or any final words of wisdom because you’ve already dropped light I was in I was on the way the content already but is anything else that you wish I’d asked we want to leave the audience with you know I think you really are a lot of your questions let’s leave it the way it is %HESITATION I appreciate hanging out with you and let all of your energy let your present it’s always great but %HESITATION like what we okay no Warren Buffett that’s great to learn thanks but it’s even greater to one another people thanks I think that’s why you and I have that city is why I I this time is sacred for me because I feel like it’s like I get first hand dibs on a great mind and I can only see excel myself before so thank you for that and what is the best place then that the orders come follow you like I said at the beginning of the show I’m pretty sure if I’m going to know who you are but just for those one or two people who may not know who you are what’s the best way we can connect to support you Rakan dot com is my website there you go there everything branches out there but they can also go to the I am movement podcast you can find all of your like your in the course of social media on the fantastic what I’m gonna do is I’m gonna put everything that you just mentioned that into the Shaun Ellis’s ball almost identical to use your video as well because that was something I listen to a few years ago and that has a moms are raising and I remember I was doing research a few weeks ago just in preparation for this interview the I watched it again I have the exact same feeling because it’s authentic and it’s true and it’s your story that you so kindly shared with us today so I say this every single one of my guests and you can ask any single one of them the vice right that you are now qualified your voice by me and I always say that if anyone takes time out of their day to come onto the show to help find your voice become what it is and how the leases Dan your your friend of mine for life so if there’s any way I can obviously help you moving forward please do reach out and I just wanna say again to everyone list in the home thank you so much for listening and remember this podcast is absolutely free so all we ask in return is for you to share this with a friend and drop us a five star review over on iTunes have an awesome day

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