How to Build Confidence – 5 Tips you can do today follows on from last weeks episode, on find your voice podcast.
“We all lack confidence in certain areas of our life”Aren Deu
If you haven’t already, you may want to check out https://shows.acast.com/findyourvoice/episodes/how-to-build-confidence
Where i discussed the first 5 things to help build confidence. To quickly recap these included:
1 getting things done, 2 exercising, 3, staying true to your word, 4 ensuring you don’t get overwhelmed and 5 recognising the lack of confidence is not exclusive to you and we all, in certain areas of our lives experience it.
But please do obviously check it out for an in-depth 10-minute explanation below:
But for this episode, these are the 5 ways (well 6, with the bonus tip) to help you build your confidence.
6. Preparation. One of the ways I managed to handle my public speaking fear, was to be incredibly prepared. Now there is a well known fact that even the most confidence amongst us, such as French Prince of Bel-Air who we all loved and adored if you were an 80/90s baby, can be seen whispering the lines of every single person in the episode before his own lines. Why? It was his first major gig at acting, he wanted to make sure he didn’t make mistakes or mess up his opportunity, so he prepared!! For many of us, a lack of confidence can be due to a lack of competencies or knowledge so the best way to get over this, is too just over prepare! I’ve done it, I still do it and I promise you it will hugely enhance your confidence
7. Improve your posture. There is a psychological and physiologically benefits to improving one’s posture. If you are trying to negotiate something, or get a point across but you have your shoulders slouched, back hunched over like the dude from Notre dam you are likely 1 not going to portray a confident person, but 2 not even feel it. Put those shoulders back, work on your eye contact and pump that chest out. It may feel stupidly awkward by the way, initially but it’s empowering once you recognise people start to take more notice of you.
8. Music! Yes, music is one of the best things for our minds and bodies if we choose the right tracks, to empower us. I don’t know about you, but there are some songs that I feel I can genuinely take on the world after it. Either for their lyrics the beat or just the feeling of when I first ever heard that song. I call these power songs. Find your power songs and get them ready before you need to be more confident. Now being fully transparent here, I do this on the way to football matches, or when I spar in boxing because sometimes my anxiety and own self doubts can cripple my performances, but if I can get those tunes playing at the right time, I am usually unstoppable! Okay, that’s an exaggeration, but I usually feel proud of myself as I gave my all without self sabotaging my performance before I even step into the ring or on the field.
9. Visualise. There is something magical about visualisation and maybe ill do a podcast on this separately in more depth. But your imagination has the power to boost your confidence massively. Experts believe that mental visualisation practices such as delivering the perfect speech, hitting that home run, successful getting a new client etc, can prepare your brain for the outcome and give you that sense of achievement. Combined with positive affirmations of how you can achieve this, are worthy of achieving this, you can literally accomplish it in your head, mind and body before you actually go out there and do it. Which you will!
10. Do something difficult. There is something special about learning to become comfortable whilst actually being uncomfortable. We will never improve ourselves or you will never truly find your voice if you remain in your comfort zone. We need to stretch it, push it, step outside it and learn to wonder in a bit of uncertainty, a bit of uncomfortable to really grow as humans. Overtime, if you consistently do this to yourself, you will quickly start to fell unstoppable and recognise that the things you used to think were impossible, or were going to kill you, harm you, or scare you senseless actually didn’t turn out so bad after all!
And just because I think a 3 part episode would be an overkill, I’ve taken 1 more confidence boosting tip to truly help move forward and find your voice:
11. Smile at random people. I tried this exercise a few weeks back, but I started in comfortable places like the local gym, where everyone is so polite anyway. So rather than avoiding eye contact like I so often do, I started to look at people in the eyes and just push those cheek up and flash a smile. And guess what? I didn’t die. I didn’t get called a weirdo. I didn’t break out in a sweat. I actually got welcoming greetings and smiles back. The benefit of all of that? I had a great work out and more importantly was in such a great mood for the remainder of the day… Smiling is contagious and as much as those people made my day, id like to think my awkward smile did the same!
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you might think that you’re going to look like a widow you might fail to have this (subscribe to find your voice to increase your confidence) open and I promise you I have felt the exact same openness because one of the things I always do is when I see someone the first reaction is to put my head down welcome to an episode of find your voice a movement led by yours truly Aren Deu a guy who was overcome crippling anxiety adversity and difficulty like so many of you in life whose main goal now is to help you combat your excuses take control of your life write your own story and most importantly find your voice so now without further ado I welcome the host of the show himself Mr Aren Deu what’s going on people thank you for tuning in to another episode of find your voice my name is iron out as always I am the host of the show so today I’m gonna be bringing you part two of last week’s episode so just quickly recapping for anyone who did it check out the episode so the first one was obviously getting things done the second one was exercising the third was staying true to your word number four was insuring you don’t get overwhelms all went into a little bit of detail about not on the fifth was recognizing that I lack of confidence within certain areas is not actually a bad thing in fact everybody suffers a lack of confidence in certain areas of their life so you it’s not exclusive to yourself however we’re gonna jump on to that next five tips so number six is preparation so one of the reasons I think preparation is so so key is because if you are lacking confidence is generally because you don’t have the experience or the competence or just a know how of how to do it so one of the best ways that you can at least put the odds in your favor is by being prepared now there is an old story and it’s about the fresh prince of Bel as somebody who I grew up watching it he’s probably in my opinion one of the most confident looking people in the spotlight so will Smith as many of you may or may not know what I see pretty much everybody knows who he is hi at a time where he was on the fresh prince of Bel Air he was not sure he’s best active role not many people don’t know that he was the only one of the host said who had never acted previously where’s everybody else was kind of trained in theater and in acting and if you look at one of the first few episodes you cannot you see him aside everybody’s lines as they go along the episode in order the said he’d call me with these old now what that was a result of was an incredible work ethic but also being incredibly over prepared actually just prepared I don’t think you could over prepare I think if something is important for you and you absolutely need to prepare as much as possible so what he did was recognizing that these guys already leveled up maybe he was aspiring to be he needs to ensure that he came with his best self I’m one of the best ways that you can come with your best self is of course by being prepared number seven improve your pasta so one of the things that I recognize myself when I just took a really really badly shyness was our use of slouch showed as my neck was always constantly down and actually start to walk with a bit of a hunch back a little bit like the (subscribe to find your voice to increase your confidence) dude from a I think it was Notre dumb or something like that anyway fast forward a few years out you develop Bach pains because of the and it took me quite a few years to really try and straighten my back I thanks to plot ease way I started to recognize Hey I’m actually six foot tall now one of the things that I recognize when I develop my pasta was my shoulders tight to combat my chest started to be prodded actually looked a lot more confident and this is really important because if you can just imagine yourself maybe you’re talking to your boss maybe you’re talking to a prospective client if you look like the old iron with the hunch back looking at the floor shoulders (subscribe to find your voice to increase your confidence) slides the chances office you got Paris is not going to believe a word you’re saying or recognize that you’re not confident and secondly that’s then going to the following effect for yourself where you’re gonna start to believe that your not confident as well and that’s not what we want so even if you got a fake it till you make it initially which I’ve got to do in many many circumstances and experiences is just look the part the best thing we can do is put the odds in our favor so I used to look in the pot and then yeah the rest of it will kind of figure out along the way number eight music now I call these power trucks power songs and it’s something I used to do in my personal training days where you have that song you have the soundtrack without power but where would the moment you put it on you are going to do some serious damage you are going to be unstoppable you are literally in that I do not give a dom mode and not so great mo to be in because sometimes through life we just have to push ourselves and we just need that motivation because I thought someone over the place and sometimes we need extra stimulus I music for me is Saul Saul massive in relation to that because when I can get the right track whether it’s because the lyrics or the artist with the beat I instantly change my physiology I change my psychology and then all of a sudden I am in that mode where I’m ready and I’ll let you in on a little secret Hey I have to do this before I pay for what on a Wednesday top left with three times a week on a Wednesday it’s a very very stressful game for me because I always have this limiting belief that I am probably the west today which may or may not be the case that sums the I signed up so for the day because we’re not gonna talk about football but that is just a conversation part of the day so one of the things that you do leading up to that game is I have these power trucks in my head that I would at least give everything on the field and I don’t want to leave that have been self sabotage myself with my own thought someone would lead me to believe so I have these power trucks I go there feeling great I go there feeling like I am worthy of being on the field and I’ll tell you what I generally tend not okay at least that’s what I’d tell myself and I’ve done this a boxing as well prior to sparring with people I would always get this anxious nervous energy where my hundred feel so heavy my mind would be playing tricks and I think I am I really ready should I be doing this should I learn a little bit more before I jump in there but just having that song just up three to four minutes ringing in my head it brings about that feeling of being unstoppable so think about the songs on your playlist think about whether they’re uplifting maybe think of even moments or experiences in your life where a sound truck was played and maybe that moment made you feel great maybe there’s a wedding day maybe even your last birthday for example get those moments back and use them is anxious to move you forward I’m build your confidence number nine visualize visualize visualize visualize I said this numerous times I think on at least seventeen podcast before but there is something really important about visualizing but once you can visualize something one of the things that it does is it actually tells your brain that you’ve already achieved especially can really get into a force because it will start to change your physiology and psychology of making you believe you’ve actually achieved it you see our brains don’t always distinguish whether something is actually happened or whether we’ve just thought it so that’s quite important so one of the things I always do is I always visualize where this podcast is going to go or how my next meeting is going to go or how my next property venture is going to plan out and this is really really important because instantly then I get that feeling of norm what is light but the same time it starts to build my confidence I did nothing Matias on top of that then you are going to be unstoppable because then you can start to tell yourself I am worthy of this I am confident hi I’m capable of achieving what is about to happen for me in my life so manifestation visualization positive affirmations please please please get doing them I’m finally number ten do you something difficult there is something special about getting comfortable what’s being uncomfortable and this is something I kind of pride myself on especially in the last five or six years because one of the things I recognized was that if you can just come through the op on comparable stage where we stretch our comfort zone we grow out of it or we just step ever so slightly into an unknown area that’s where the growth is going to be that’s where we’re going to start to see ourselves me forward in life because we cannot move forward in life or really become the people that we want to visualize ourselves being if we don’t step outside of my comfort zone and there’s nothing comfortable about being in the comfort zone it’s so comfortable it’s supposed to be uncomfortable because that’s the area where you are in a new environment is where you’re going to learn new things you can experience new things and you’re also going to gain a hell of a lot of wisdom but if you can get used to that if you can almost take the anxiety feeling I recognize as excitement because actually science has proven that you actually have the same reaction is when you’re excited on when you’re anxious and you can just kind of re framed and say you know what I’m not I’m just no more I’m actually excited and use that as a way of making you do more things that make you uncomfortable you’re gonna see your life start to changeover to start to find your voice from the and you’re actually going to start to get addicted from being on comfortable so that’s kind of where I’m going to leave it but I remember on the last episode I thought really collide and I gave you an extra tip so I’m gonna give you an extra one here but what they say could this episode I’m gonna keep it point number eleven and it is to smile at random people you might think that you’re going to look like a window you might fail to have this (subscribe to find your voice to increase your confidence) open and I promise you I have felt the exact same openness because one of the things I always do is when I see someone the first reaction is to put my head down I also do this thing with my eyes were I just kind of look to the side of the pass and almost disengaging from any sort of like content because I don’t want the Ohrid feeding it really is not you know good feeling because a few weeks ago I put myself kind of accountable on Instagram a what I did is I said I’m gonna start smiling at the most random people and I went to the gym that morning I’m one of the things I did was come out my comfort zone I started looking people in the eyes and initially this not really really weird anyway it wasn’t bad I didn’t die from it nobody said it was weird nobody said why are you smiling at this time in the morning in fact people greeted me with nice warm welcomes and also small is back and I know it sounds really crazy to smiley but I felt so happy in the day I felt there was people in the morning who had cheered me up hopefully see my wits small head cheer them up to you but I also had an incredible way cat and it just made me feel so much better because one things as humans we want is relationships I know that wasn’t necessarily get in a relationship of a small you want that feeling of connecting with individuals especially when you’re smiling because it releases all these chemicals it makes you feel good you can make other people feel good and it seemed fractious (subscribe to find your voice to increase your confidence) the last thing I would say is if you don’t do any of these twelve points that I’ve mentioned is just a small just lead to smaller people trust me I find it awkward I found myself thinking I was a widow when in fact actually it was normal it’s normal to spread some happiness in the road and I think the will just needs a lot more of that so that’s what I’m gonna leave it that’s the end of these two part episodes I hope you find these useful as well because I spend a lot of time researching these I don’t just wanna give you stuff the (subscribe to find your voice to increase your confidence) I don’t do myself I wanna give you stuff that will truly help you go out there build your confidence help you find your voice and more importantly then start to write your own story so as always from the bottom of my heart I truly appreciate every single person who choose in to an episode taking time out of your day would you list you could be doing anything in the world so thank you so much for that and also I do encourage people to have a look at the you tube channel I’m trying really really hard to try to improve the engagement improve the video quality is there as well so if you have any tips and tricks drop me a comment on my you tube videos and I’ll be sure to reach out to you so until next time thanks for listening and remember this podcast is absolutely free so all we ask in return is for you to share this with a friend and drop us a five star review over on iTunes have an awesome day